It's been a month here. I have been trying my best to fit in, but so far.....still difficult.
We live in company apartment complex, almost all my friends when we lived here 2 years ago are all over the world now. Only one left, thanks God she's still here.
Iki is good now. He can adapt to his new school already and told me yesterday that he loved it. He also goes to swimming school once a week (just started yesterday!), and he enjoyed it.
Which is good. Very good.
But not me.....yet.
I am stuck with houseworks. never ending one. I guess living in Indonesia spoilt me a little bit too much. I had a maid, a cook, and a gardener. I almost did nothing for the houseworks. I am still trying getting used to it, though. But it upset me me when papa-chan told me that houseworks is an easy job, and he couldn't understand why would I need almost the whole day only for that.
I wished he could see from my point of view, not his :(. I feel like not appreciated.
I couldn't make friends yet. I have Tomomi, but I don't want to bother her too much. She has many friends and lots of activities. She introduced me to some of her friends though, but we have communication problem that we couldn't be connected....yet? My japanese is really bad now! i can't believe it, that I can't even communicate.
Every afternoon after picking Iki up at school I have to wait for him playing together with other kids. There're also other mothers waiting but I couldn't get into their world. I feel that they are afraid to talk with me because I don't speak Japanese well. I always could see their irritating eyes, if I don't understand something and someone had to explain really slow to me. At the end, I was just standing there, being ignored. One woman is really nice, though. She knows some English words so she helps me a lot. I really appreciate it, but she can't help me all the time right? :D.
I feel like I'm an alien among those mothers. Some really like to look at me from top to toe. Sometimes I put on "extreme" clothing and enjoyed their shocked eyes hahahaha.
I don't understand why would it be different this time. Last time it was pretty easy for me to get new friends. But maybe because they were from various backgrounds, meanwhile that Iki is going to company school now, all the fathers work for the same company. I don't know....I dont know if it makes any difference.
I spent almost every night alone after Iki's sleeping. Hiro has to go drinking almost every night and he said that it's also work for him, that he can't possible say no. It started right away, left me no time to tell him how I feel or cope with the life here. When he is home he would be too tired because of the alcohol from the previous day, or busy with his hobby, with his gadgets. I feel like I don't have quality time talking with him for ages. I miss those times in Sorowako, when we spend midnights talking at the veranda.
This is a big culture shock for me. Before this he always spent more time at home until I got settled in. But this time I feel like I have to fight with the situation by myself. I feel really lonely.
Alright. I'd better sleep now. It would be another looooong day tomorrow. I hate to go to bed alone.
I know I will be fine. I need more time, but I hope wouldn't be too long.
