..............

Be strong, Indonesia....

You'll always be in my pray (_ _o).........

Memories...

I am listening to Indonesian songs compiled by my dear friend Enyo.

Sometimes I smile, sometimes I'm in tears.

These songs remind me of sooo much memories of Indonesia.

Of those times in Surabaya. In Enyo's car, during crazy karaoke times, working period in Altoers, and to ex-boyfriend(s) too.

Of those old old school days in Banjarmasin. of my first love. of the lovable highschool time.

Of Sorowako. Annisah's car, and karaoke in Lusiana Hotel.

Of Indonesia. Where my heart belongs.

No no, this is not homesick, I just got back from Indonesia.

Thank you Enyo, for this CD full of memories!!

My very last pretty nails

I just threw all my nails colors, glitters, and all the decorations into the trash bin. It really broke my heart, but I think it's the best I could do.

Me doing manicure at night had been a midnight problems lately. And tonight is the worst of all. Papa-chan was very upset, Iki was very sad, and me now spending the night in the living room alone felt really guilty.

I was too much into my nails, my hobby, that I ruined the night. Maybe a mother like me doesn't need a hobby.

I gave it up. No more relaxing nights working on my nails now, I don't feel relax if everybody else is not happy.

SO forget my last post about switching to gel manicure. I am NOT doing ANY manicure anymore. Sad, huh? I feel like I lost all data inside my hard disk now :(

Tetsudai-san? = pembantu

Ah....over the same thing again.

Yesterday I went shopping with my friend Tomomi and her kids. While she brought her crying baby to the drugstore, I went to the vegetable shop bringing his 3 years old boy. I think it would save time and the crying baby could get his milk sooner.

Aki-kun, Tomomi little boy likes to talk so while I picked up some veggies he talked to the shop owner. And when I paid them all she asked me if I were Aki's mom's daughter. Which I quickly said no LOL. I was quite flattered. Do I look that cute and young?

But then she continued asking: so, are you tetsudai-san? (MAID)

I just looked at her, and answered sharply NO! I'm his mom's friend!

Ah.......

I don't know how to react anymore haha. In Korea, and here in Japan people thought I'm a maid! Even in my own country though in Indonesia I know its just people judgment towards those marrying foreigner - well, am sure not happen to everyone though - and I envy you if you don't :(

I seriously am questioning myself if I do really look like a maid, or its just narrow minded and racist people's judgement over asian living in their country.

I thought taking care of my appearance will help, but now I'm afraid if I dressed up more 'nicely' people will think I work in a bar in Ikebukuro (@_@)

-Happened yesterday, just when I started enjoying myself here, and during my most hateful period of PMS!!! Really a huge kick to my mood-

The life back in Japan

It's been a month here. I have been trying my best to fit in, but so far.....still difficult.

We live in company apartment complex, almost all my friends when we lived here 2 years ago are all over the world now. Only one left, thanks God she's still here.

Iki is good now. He can adapt to his new school already and told me yesterday that he loved it. He also goes to swimming school once a week (just started yesterday!), and he enjoyed it.

Which is good. Very good.

But not me.....yet.

I am stuck with houseworks. never ending one. I guess living in Indonesia spoilt me a little bit too much. I had a maid, a cook, and a gardener. I almost did nothing for the houseworks. I am still trying getting used to it, though. But it upset me me when papa-chan told me that houseworks is an easy job, and he couldn't understand why would I need almost the whole day only for that.

I wished he could see from my point of view, not his :(. I feel like not appreciated.

I couldn't make friends yet. I have Tomomi, but I don't want to bother her too much. She has many friends and lots of activities. She introduced me to some of her friends though, but we have communication problem that we couldn't be connected....yet? My japanese is really bad now! i can't believe it, that I can't even communicate.

Every afternoon after picking Iki up at school I have to wait for him playing together with other kids. There're also other mothers waiting but I couldn't get into their world. I feel that they are afraid to talk with me because I don't speak Japanese well. I always could see their irritating eyes, if I don't understand something and someone had to explain really slow to me. At the end, I was just standing there, being ignored. One woman is really nice, though. She knows some English words so she helps me a lot. I really appreciate it, but she can't help me all the time right? :D.

I feel like I'm an alien among those mothers. Some really like to look at me from top to toe. Sometimes I put on "extreme" clothing and enjoyed their shocked eyes hahahaha.

I don't understand why would it be different this time. Last time it was pretty easy for me to get new friends. But maybe because they were from various backgrounds, meanwhile that Iki is going to company school now, all the fathers work for the same company. I don't know....I dont know if it makes any difference.

I spent almost every night alone after Iki's sleeping. Hiro has to go drinking almost every night and he said that it's also work for him, that he can't possible say no. It started right away, left me no time to tell him how I feel or cope with the life here. When he is home he would be too tired because of the alcohol from the previous day, or busy with his hobby, with his gadgets. I feel like I don't have quality time talking with him for ages. I miss those times in Sorowako, when we spend midnights talking at the veranda.

This is a big culture shock for me. Before this he always spent more time at home until I got settled in. But this time I feel like I have to fight with the situation by myself. I feel really lonely.

Alright. I'd better sleep now. It would be another looooong day tomorrow. I hate to go to bed alone.

I know I will be fine. I need more time, but I hope wouldn't be too long.

Our Christmas Surprise

So last Friday was a shocking day for us. We are going back to Japan, next month, for good.

This is not surprising actually, we knew this would happen last september when a new boss came here bringing his right hand, whose same position with hiro. Two men in one position?! It won't work for sure :). We just didn't expect it this early. We thought it would be like in april or may.

Anyway, we are good now. After one night drinking with our good friends here in Sorowako. Again, life is about hello and goodbye...we have a great great one year in this jungle paradise. I love my friends here, they are like my family; love all my activities here, love all the fun too for sure. I will really miss this place. But I am satisfied and ready to go :)
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Babu?

Last week I went to the market with my Japanese friend, Suzuko, and a guy from one veggies stall thought I was Suzuko's maid. He said,"Hey!! tell your boss that I have a very good pumpkin. She doesn't understand me!!".

Yes, he gave me order! :))

I was so speechless I just looked at him for few seconds. And he repeated again. 'Hey, tell your boss!!". At that moment I put back all the veggies I was about to buy from him while saying,"I'm not her maid!". He said sorry though.....but still..!!!!!! I am not buying anything from him anymore. ever! :))

I almost forgot it until this morning, when I went to the hospital with Lynley to visit Abrar, a sick boy from Wasuponda we brought to the hospital last week.

As usual, a foreigner attracts so much attention. So when we waited patiently at the cashier, lots of people stood around Lynley, watching her every movement :)). Poor Lynley felt so uncomfortable :p. Then a guy asked me (while the other people cheering him), "where does your boss live?".

AGAIN?!

When I translated that to Lynley she asked me to tell him that she is my maid instead :))

Oh well, now that my skin is SO tanned, I think even in my own country people would think that I'm a maid or Iki's babysitter. Or is it because I actually look like a maid? Muka babu kah?! The trauma from living in South Korea still goes on hahaha

From now on I won't leave the house before dressing up. And let's see what will they say. Hmmmmmm tapi jangan2 kalo kelihatan keren ntar malah dikira "ayam" :))

(@_@)

Oh yeah...this would be still about me wanting to go for a shopping holiday (#_#)

Which I think won't work now. Regarding my previous post that I couldn't leave Iki in Sorowako or bring him on a short tiring trip, Hiro at last offered to go with us. Isn't it great?!?! What a lovely husband :D :D. But instead of Surabaya we planned to go to Kuala Lumpur so that Hiro can shop at the Duty Free too. Oh I was so excited and started to browse here and there for information.

It was when I thought that we would go on a 6 days trip (he has 6 days holiday every 3 months). But no :(, Hiro said that he is so busy that he could only take 4 days holiday. He would disturb the office work if he takes more than that (>o<). Oh No...!!!!! I almost forgot that for most Japanese, work is almost everything :))

I can't go then. I'll be so egoist pushing my busy husband going on a 4 days shopping getaway! First, at least 24 hours would be spent for the return trip Sorowako-Makassar. And then there would be no "calming down" time at all for the whole trip because we would only stay (and shop) for two nights in KL. Iki would be too tired. And by the time we got back to Sorowako, my husband and my son will be exhausted! Just because "I" wanted to go.

No, no, no....I can't let them do that.

Jangankan ke KL, Surabaya. Mau ke Makassar aja gak bisa, harus nunggu Hiro dapat libur. Kalo masih gak ada Iki sih aku gak masalah bolak balik naik bis sendirian. Sekarang kagak bisa. Iki mabuk daratnya parah banget, bapaknya juga gak rela anaknya dinaikin bis. Padahal bis eksekutif!! huh!! Sekarang baru sadar rasanya, kalo kita sekarang tinggal bener-bener di pedalaman. Sudah gak mengharapkan lagi dapat seat pesawat, lah emang gak pernah dapat lagi.

So, forget about going away now, Imoet!!!! just wait until January. I could manage living in Korea for two years, I should be able to wait for couple of months in Sorowako!

yah....

Called the bus, checked the flight schedule, but my son doesn't want me to go....

Can't possibly bring him on a bus too, he has car sick problem. And 4 nights trip (two of which are inside the bus) would be too much for him. So all the plan is ruined now, I can't have my short holiday :(

Oh well, he is still too small for this. Even though I feel like stressing out here, I just have to be patient. I guess I have to learn more about my role :(

Emotional day

I spent the whole morning at the milk run, Sorowako Community Volunteer's program to give milk to underweight children in Sorowako and surroundings (in this case, Wasuponda and Wawondula). Last month we found out about this deaf boy named Abrar. He is 18 months old but weighed only 3.5 kgs!!! He surely is dying of malnutrition, so we wanted to bring him to Sorowako's hospital to get checked. But the father didn't allow the mother to bring the baby to the hospital, for no reason. We couldn't believe it. The boy was really thin and small and dying, and obviously needs help. How could a father just watch his only son dying? because he is deaf? because he has developmental problem? why...?!

I think then the nurse from Wasuponda local clinic (puskesmas) talked with them intensely until then the father agreed to let us bring the son to the hospital. So this morning he signed the paper, agreed clearly that his son will be brought to the hospital in Sorowako for treatment. He looked happy too when we told him that we will pay all the hospital bill. We stated clearly that we're just trying to help Abrar, eventhough everything is again back in God's hand.

So then we brought Abrar and his mom to the hospital. Poor Abrar....he only has bone and skin!!! I could barely feel any other thing in between. They put tube from his nose to his stomach to feed him, and he cried. It was like a little squeak only. It was really heartbreaking to see him suffering. I was actually trembling, and my mind was on my 3.5 years old FAT boy......

I felt better to see color on his lips an hour after they gave him liquid. I hope he would be fine....I do really really hope.

I couldn't let him out of my mind the whole day, and talked about him with Iki too. Too bad when I wanted to talk with Hiro on how I felt about him today he felt disturbed. He was too busy playing pinball on his computer :(

I am so emotional now. I know. I need a break. I think I will go to Surabaya tomorrow night. I planned to go last Wednesday (I wanted to go this week because Iki will start school again next week) actually but Hiro said that I was invited to his ex boss' farewell party tomorrow night. I wanted to respect that old man so I cancelled my plan. But tonight Hiro told me that he doesn't want me to go tomorrow, so....Surabaya, here I come!!!! ;-)

I will eat as much as possible there :))

Perfectionist

I have a perfectionist husband. Literally in every aspect of life. He is SO picky about food, about hotel, about clothes, and about women? haha! about EVERYTHING!

I am not a good cook. Before we were married I've never cooked any single proper meal (as far as I remember I could only cook steamed rice, instant noodle, and one failed stir fry veggies). But once I got married and moved to Incheon, I had no choice than cooking (preferably JAPANESE FOOD!!!) for three times a day. No maid, no mama.

Poor Hiro had to translate the Japanese cooking book every night after tired working. Simply because he doesn't trust any recipe on the net (especially the English ones) or from any other recipe books except those are published by "ORANGE PAGE". He believes that Orange page's cooking books give the best Japanese recipe. See? what a picky guy. Even for a cooking book!

I tried my best. Again, I am not a good cook so it takes long long time for me to cook single meal. Hiro always says' "why do you need 1.5 hours to cook? other japanese wives only need 40 minutes!"

I am still in the process of learning, and I thought that I've done my best and now a much much better cook than I was ever before. But like almost every night I still get complaints about the food I cook. I always have to say a lot of "I am sorry...." on our dining table instead of "really? thanks".

I know that he works hard everyday. From 6am to at least 8pm that he really expects to eat something really yummy at home. I DO my best every night to cook good food to my tired husband. But well, as I said before, at least I have to say once "I'm sorry" to him.

Don't get me wrong. I am open to all critics and complaints. Its just....sometimes I feel like crying. It's been four years. I don't know if I could ever cook a perfect food for my perfectionist husband......

Today opa passed away. He is 89 years old, and has been feeling really lonely since oma passed away 4 years ago. He is a very humorous person yet a very discipline one. I remember once I forgot to greet him 'good evening' after got back from the church, and he sent me back to the church!

I spent few years living with him when I was in elementary school. He always sent me to school walking. For about 12 km (return) everyday! I still can remember him clearly. I used to wait for him in front of the school, waiting for a tall figure wearing dark blue cap, with an umbrella on his right hand.

My father was with him when he was dying. He even said goodbye to him before he left.

I miss him now. God, I really miss him. I want to see him for the last time. But there is no flight to Makassar on Wednesday (even if there is, I couldn't get a seat, because being a contractor, we could only book a seat minimum a week before eventhough we get one day before notice if we get the seat or not!!). I don't dare to bring Iki on a bus trip to Makassar, and can't possibly leave him behind. Now there is WOC in Manado, so the seat to Manado from Makassar is 270 USD one way but ALL are fully booked. I just realised that eventhough we live in the same island, Manado IS a VERY far place!!!!!! 

The funeral would be tomorrow. I will miss it again, as I missed my oma's funeral 4 years ago :(..........

:(

I am in Makassar now. Leaving Iki and Hiro behind in Sorowako. I had to go to the immigration office and the consulate general of Japan yesterday, which went well, and I got my three years multiple visa to Japan stamped.

Leaving Iki was heartbreaking. After kissing him before boarding, I didn't dare to look back otherwise I would definitely cry. This is my first time travelling without him, I had been nervous the whole week, and the morning before I left I found out that he got eye infection!! I couldn't let him out of my mind since. I miss him so much....I want to go home but I couldn't get any seat in the airplane today that I have to be in a car for 11 hours. I will arrive at home midnight today and my baby must be sleeping already :(

BYE, Bibik!

Remember Christina, my maid after Mina-chan?

She actually is good, eventhough she is so slow (I guess because she's quite old). She cooks good food because she was a cook. She is a perfectionist. And most of all, Iki loves her.

But she dissapointed us.

She invited her family to visit her here while we were on holiday to Bali early last month. Was very very noisy that my neighbor was really angry, and was surprised that I actually was not here. The news spread all over the neighborhood then that my maid was having party at my house when I was away. We were very dissapointed, especially when she tried to lied. She said the one who made such noise was Maddie (Iki's girlfriend who plays here everyday).

Later in the evening I talked with my friend who was the witness, and bibik had no choice than telling us the truth. So her family was inside our house, not underneath as what she told before. Running around, screaming, played with Iki's toys, ate the food from our fridge, and (might) have slept on our bed (>.<).

She cried the whole day, even packed her stuffs just in case Hiro would fire her. But Hiro gave her another chance.....

She usually went home every Saturday afternoon and came back here on Sunday afternoon. But lately she always came back her on Monday. Without any news. We were crossed but we are not the type who would yell to a maid when we're angry. Hiro decided to cut some amount of her salary everytime she's late. She was not happy when I told her....

We have Japanese rice here for Hiro and Iki. It's difficult to get and damn expensive (10 USD for 1 kg!). I always eat Indonesian rice for my lunch, but Bibik loves Japanese rice!!! she said that the Indonesian rice here is not delicious, so eventhough I told her not to eat the Japanese rice, she kept eating that secretly, which I always found out, and her excuse was always that the rice tasted good...!!!

Sometimes I asked her to go shopping. She kept the change and always told me that she used all the money. Oh dear....like I don't know the price of the stuffs I asked her to buy?!

She misplaced lots of stuffs. I found Hiro's underwear in my drawer, my T-shirt inside Hiro's drawer, Hiro's swimsuit inside Iki's drawer. I told her lotsss of time, and boy, it's irritating! especially when you are in a hurry and can't find what you need :p

She told me what to do. She told me how to educate Iki. She told me how to dress. She told me to have another baby almost everyday! Which were not her business at all!

Yesterday she asked for permission to go home for the national election rehearsal, and promised to come back here on that same day. 

But late in the afternoon she came and told me: "Bu, I will go to Makassar now until Monday for my brother's wedding. I have to catch the bus. See you and Monday!" 

I was half dressed after taking a bath. Was total speechless. What the heck?! 

Hiro came back home 5 minutes later, and when I told him, he asked me to tell Bibik to come on Monday to pack her stuffs!

Hhhh......

Not that I don't have maid now, though. My friend Nira lends me her maid, Ludia, working here for three days a week until I get a new full time maid :)

I still feel bad to Bibik, but I think it's over now. I hope she won't cry again when she comes here on Monday to take her stuffs. I will be alright will this part time maid for now. I hope....I do hope that I could get a new full time one pretty soon because I have to go to Makassar alone next two weeks (@_@)

Our flight

It was raining when we were about to board the plane from Sorowako to Makassar yesterday morning that the flight was delayed. The plane connecting Sorowako to Makassar is a small one, so the flight operator didn't dare to take the risk flying the airplane during bad weather. Which actually was very good, because safety must come at the first place. I don't dare risking our lives in the sky with that small plane too!!

But the thing is our next flight to Bali from Makassar would be at 9 a.m!! We were supposed to arrive in Makassar at 8 a.m but at last we started at 7.45! I felt like the 45 minutes flight took forever. But the other passanger told me that Lion Air (our next flight to Bali), would understand about our flight delayed and would allow us to get inside the plane. And anyway flight delayed for that airlines is just a normal issue' so we shouldn't be worried that much haha!

We arrived at Makassar 15 minutes before the Lion Air boarded. Hiro ran with Iki to the check in counter explaining about us, while I ran to take the luggage. The Lion Air's staffs kept rushing me to board the plane asap and leave the luggage behind (they said that they will send it with the next flight to Bali, but..... yeah right!!! :p). Thanks God by that time then I saw my luggage and I ran upstair as fast as I could. I lost my breath, but we could board the plane. I felt sorry for the other passanger who waited curiously inside the plane hehehe. 

So we are now in Bali (^____^), for our first one week holiday after 5 months living in Sorowako! 

60's or 70's fashion ideas

I NEED HELP!!!!!!

There will be this birthday party coming on Feb 7. Everyone coming must wear 60's or 70's costume!

Please give me some advices, considering we're living in this jungle, and buying things is impossible. I might have to sew the dress on my own, but I just can't think of any good ideas.

I have something for you who gives the best creative yet easy to make idea, which I will use to come to the party. I will send away MY handmade goodie (^_^)!! But since I'm running out of time, I could only wait for your ideas until Sunday, Jan 25.

So hurry up, think of something unique to help US, and to get my handmade goodie (^___^)v

In search of a good maid :p

I got a new maid now. She started working this morning. How did I manage to find a new maid within one week?!

I brought Iki last Wednesday to the routine boxercise with the wives neighborhood. and they asked me why. I explained them that I fired my maid and there was nobody taking care of him while I was away. Since then the news spread all over "maid network" and everyday some women came over to look for a job. I thought It would be difficult to find a new maid, but I was wrong!

I chose Christina to fill in the job. She is not young anymore, experienced, can cook well, great with children, speaks a little English (just in case Hiro wants to communicate with her), and can stay with us here.

I spent this whole day teaching her the way she should do the house chores here. Hopefully she could adapt well within few days.

I do hope I chose the right person :)

Not my day...

I got my left tummy ache in these past 4 days. The pain come and go so I didn't really pay attention on it. I was thinking to go to a doctor but I don't have maid now, and going to a hospital bringing Iki wouldn't be a good idea.

But yesterday evening the pain got worse. I told Hiro but then because I didn't cook, we went to Wet Monyet anyway for dinner. To my surprise, the pain was getting worse, and I couldn't walk anymore as we arrived home. Hiro was upset because I should have gone to the hospital earlier, for he's afraid if it was my appendices.

So he made me called the expat doctor at 9.30 pm yesterday, and he met me at the hospital not long after that. He checked me up, did some tests (vaginal, urine and pregnancy), and came to a conclusion that it was not my appendices (thank God), but that there's infection inside. He gave me antibiotics and pain killer, and asked me to give him a call in the morning again.

I felt better then. I still could feel the pain but it is not as painful as last night. I called the doctor and he said that I must finish the whole strip of the antibiotics and take a good rest for few days to recover from the bugs. The thing is, I don't have maid now. I had to do the house chores and cooking and I couldn't take a minute rest with my active son bugging me around the whole day. I told him that I'm sick and need to lay down to reduce my pain, but he kept jumping on my damn stomach. I was so upset but I also pity him. I know he's alone and wanted me to play with him. He didn't have nap today and I didn't have any power to make him so that he was so grumpy in the evening. I was so exhausted that I was really waiting forward for Hiro's coming to help me out taking care of him. But Hiro suddenly called me that he had something to do at the camp and would go home very late. It's now 9.40 pm, and he just left the camp. Which means he would arrive here in another hour. He hasn't had his dinner yet, poor papa-chan; so I'll have to cook for him again after this - and cleaning up, poor me. I guess having a maid these few months spoilt me a lot (>.<)

Hhhhh today is just not my day!

I'd better take a short rest now. Feel so good to be able to ramble again here, after 3 months!!

Bye bye Mina-chan

Yesterday morning I fired Mina-chan. After I got a phone call from her telling me (not asking me) that she's not coming because of sick (again!). Lately it happened every week. And Hiro already had long list of complaints about her job. And i'm so tired listening to his complaints. And I'm also tired telling her what to do over the same things every single day. And I just can't stand it anymore whenever she ruined my plan because she couldn't stay until night after her quarrel with her boyfriend. And I'm bored already with the food she cooked.And...and...and....anyway she was fired already :p

I felt good afterwards though a bit sad, especially when Iki cried (yeah...Iki likes her). Learning from this experience, I think I will make a printed "rules and to do list" for my next maid hahaha!

Hope I could get a better maid. Soon. Bye bye Mina-chan

Ruined morning

I went to the gym this morning after having a bad morning at home. I
was thinking that exercising could refresh my mind. As usual it was
quiet there. There were only me and Fino, a woman who always spends her
morning time at the Gym. Until then a man came, a talkative one. At
first he just talked to Fino while I enjoyed my exercise. I was not
interested to his kind of show off talking.

Then Fino finished her exercise and said goodbye. He came to me and
started to talk to me.

Him: I like exercising. Good for health
Me: Yeah..
Him: Do you know the previous woman?
Me: Yeah, my friend
Him: She is pretty and sexy
Me: *smiling*
Him: If I don't do exercise I couldn't have enough power to fuck (while
making fucking sign with his fingers)
Me: Ha? (left him and moved to other exercise machine)
Him: I heard you're from Manado
Me: hmm
Him: Do you have friend? I live alone here
Me: Sorry?
Him: My wife lives in Palopo. I live alone. Please introduce me to your
Manadonese friend. Manadonese are usually pretty and sexy
Me: Sorry. My friends won't be interested on you (Stop exercising and
walked away)
Him: I'm rich. Very rich. If you're alone in the afternoon, I can come
to your place
Me: I'm not interested. Look at yourself at that big mirror behind you.
And anyway I'm richer than you! (Very angry and packing my stuffs)
Him: No one is richer than me in Old camp hahaha
Me: You ugly old bastard!! Take care of your wife and children!!
(leaving the Gym)
Him: Hahaha all men are the same. So is your husband!! .........
BANG!!! ==> I slammed the door and walked away

Damn old (very) ugly fat bastard. He ruined my morning exercise.

I didn't feel better at all when I left the Gym this morning (>.<)