Trauma

Do you have this sick called trauma?

Well, I do have one...
More painful than giving birth,
flushes away my confidence
tears my heart into pieces,
again and again once reminded.
No matter how hard I tried to forget

But I guess I have to fight this alone
No one can help to cure
Only me
By myself,
Alone...

Sad oh, so sad...
I don't know how to

I'm just scared.

(^_____^)

Look look look...!!!




I got a flower!!!

My first flower ......... (^_______^) [senyum2 terus sambil ngeliat bunga di meja makan]

Giving Birth

Some friends were asking me of how the giving birth process was. Painful or not. Scary or not. Easy or not.

So....here I will write the details of giving birth process hihihihi. Hope could be informative enough and answer all your questions.

WARNING: Not rated!!! some content might be too VULGAR. Not for children under 17 years old.

Giving birth process is initialized with the continuous contraction. I read many books and information in internet about this. That there are two kinds of contraction. First is the fake contraction or also known as Braxton Hicks contraction, and second is the real contraction. The first contraction is not so painful, and if your change your sleep or sitting position, it will be reduced and gone. Meanwhile the real contraction is SO DAMN painful. It won't go by changing your position, and comes continuously in certain period of time.

I think I got the contraction on the last two days before giving birth. It came continuously, but I still could handle it. I still thought that it was the fake contraction since my due date was still about more than a month ahead. So I refused Hiro's suggestion to go to hospital. I didn't want to look stupid going to hospital TOO early. I would have my regular check up schedule on Saturday (31 Dec), so I thought I would just tell the doctor about my contractions.

9:30 am
Therefore as planned, I went for my regular check up that Saturday morning with Hiro. There I told my doctor that I got regular contraction on the past two days, but not the hard one. Then he checked my stomach, said that my baby was not gaining weight for the past 1 month control. Then when I told him that the day before I found blood stain, he looked surprised and checked my vagina. Ouuuch....it was a hell of pain. ALREADY OPENING 3, and I MUST GO TO DELIVERY SECTION AT 3rd FLOOR RIGHT AWAY.

OH MY GOD. We were not prepared at all!!! I turned pale and so did Hiro, but we just followed the nurse.

At the delivery section...

One nurse lead me to one of the small rooms there. The room was 2x3 metres size with one bed and one USG equipment for external monitoring. The nurse asked me to change my cloth into a pink operation cloth and lay down on the bed. She put kind of belt on my stomach, connected to the equipment to monitor the baby's heart beat and to detect contraction strength and length. Then the doctor came, checked again my vagina, made me screamed till crying. Still opening 3 cm. I could hardly stand up. The nurse brought me to a cozy room with some sofas and equipments to relax from contractions. Hiro joined me in a second, and both of us stayed in that room waiting for the next openings.

2:oo pm
The nurse picked me up at the waiting room. She is actually pretty, but seeing her coming and remembered the pain I would get if I follow her made me sick of her. Again she brought me into the small room and checked the opening. Still opening 3 cms. DOH...Iki...Iki....why it took so long?!
But then doctor came and talked to her. Ah ya!! FYI, they all speak Korean that I didn't understand at all what they said. So mostly between my pains, we communicated using body language hihihi. Interesting experience, huh? my-already-weakened-brain must work hard trying to understand the body language.
Anyway, then the nurse came back to me with kind of tool. She asked me to open my legs again. Arrghh AGAIN?! But this time she put kind of basin under my body. I got bad feeling already. Uh Oh...what the hell was she going to do?!
She put the knife-looks tool into my vagina and then suddenly bunch of water came out. My amnion water!! Which means, the baby must be pushed out within hours.

She brought me again into the waiting room, and then checked my opening every 30 minutes, while sometimes checked the baby's heart beat. The contractions were getting more and more painful. It's like the pain you got when having menstrual period, but 10 times harder. When the contraction came, I had to arrange my breath like what I learnt at my yoga class, and hiro massaged my back to reduce the pain, meanwhile the nurse guided me to keep the rhythm of my breath.

4:00 pm
Still opening 4 cms. I felt like losing my power already. The other pregnant women in the waiting room were screaming and crying during contractions. What a tensed situation. I couldn't scream or cry. I thought I must keep my energy inside the delivery room.
This time the doctor didn't look patient anymore looking at my progress. I could feel from his voice tone though I didn't know exactly what he said. So the nurse started the painful process.......

She asked me to lay down on the bed with opened legs, and gave me a piece of paper. Among my dizziness I tried to understand what's written there. Doctor's handwriting. Instruction that when the contraction came, I must started twice taking-and-releasing breath, then took one deep breath, pulled the handle beside my bed, pushed my heel and my anus strongly for about 40 minutes. Well, actually his english was quite confusing, so I almost laughed reading the paper. Huahahahaha can you imagine?? I will give birth to my baby using a piece of broken English instruction?!
But I learnt new vocabularies accidently during this time, because accidently I did the wrong thing. Like I "stopped" when she said "to" - meanwhile "to" in Korean means "more" hahaha

But my laugh was gone as soon as the pain came. This process was really painful. I really started to push the baby out with the nurse's fingers inside my vagina. Ewwwwwww....now writing this, I can still remember the pain and feel her fingers around my baby's head to open the vagina more. GOD...is this the process every delivering woman must pass?! Here I started to cry, I remembered my mom right away and imagined the three kids she had delivered.

If she thought I needed a break, she brought me again to the waiting room and there Hiro was helping to release the pain with the massage on my back.

5:oo pm
The nurse brought me again to the small room to check the opening. It was opening 8. When it reached opening 9, she told me that she could see the baby's head already. Though I felt so weak, my crazy mind felt like I wanted to touch the baby's head when he's still hanging on my vagina. Of course the nurse was angry when I was about to do it. I just grinned to her hehehe

5:30 pm
She brought me into the delivery room. I had to sit on the delivery table I used to saw in the movies or read in books. It was exactly 5:30 pm when the nurse said that it's opening 10 already. I must started to push much stronger this time. It was SOOOOO DAMN painful. I felt like I couldn't continue anymore. I couldn't bear the pain, and I lost my power already. All the nurses in the room were panic. One was checking the baby's heartbeat, one was keep pushing me to try more, one tried to translate with her poor english. But all I felt was just pain and pain and pain.

5:45 pm
One nurse yelled to the doctor. The door opened, one nurse came in a rush, with Hiro following behind her. WHAT?!?!?! I thought he told me that he's scared to go inside delivery room?!?!

It was really a power for me. Then everything happened so fast. I tried my best to push and push and push. I forgot the pain. All I wanted was to let this baby out of my body as soon as possible. Hiro was beside me. Actually I couldn't really hear what he said anymore. He was just a blur image talking to my right ear. But then I paused. I saw the doctor holding a big scissor. What the hell?! And before I could think more, "KREK KREK KREK". He cut something down there. OMG. I could feel the scissor cutting my skin. It made me shocked that I made one very strong push and BYORRRRRR!!!!!

It was the only sound I could hear, and then two nurses was holding me so that I stopped pushing and relaxed.

5:55 pm
IKI was born.
Hiro cut the placenta (I saw the doctor handed him the same scissor he used to cut me!!). I heard a loud cry and saw a red cute baby. I thought I would see an alien-looks creature, but he was soooo cute (^__^). The nurse brought him and Hiro out of the room and left me there.

I thought everything was over.....
Yet the doctor then sew the wound he made by the scissor previously. I could feel nothing because of the anesthesia. Then he tried to pull out the placenta from my wound. BUT COULDN'T!!!!! Seemed like the placenta was too big.
Huaaaaaaaa....so he cut me again, pull out the placenta, and started sewing again. I thought it would be OK.....but seemed like the anesthesia was already finished. So this time I was in a great pain. I still can feel the needle now. Ewwwwwwwww


Iki when he was just born

So dear friends......this is my story of giving birth. It was painful, but it was a wonderful experience you should try in the future (^_____^)

New Year Gift

Well ehm, gotta say goodbye to 2005. Lots of things happened that changed my life upside down. I was thinking to close 2005 with something simple and nice yet unforgetable. This would be the brand new year to be spent with Hiro.

And so we made plan.....
That I would prepare Japanese new year's must-be-eaten food; and I would make cheese cake as my new year gift for Hiro (after the so-called failed christmas gift hehe). I bought all the ingredients needed already. Just waited for Saturday to start preparing all.

But then.....
Something happened.
I could never prepare new year food for welcoming 2006. I could never bake cheese cake to be given as new year gift for Hiro.

Unexpectedly we spent saturday (that was supposed to be preparation day for new year) in the hospital.

BUT WE GOT BEST NEW YEAR GIFT EVER:
Tadaaaaaaaaa




Dear friends....

Let me introduce you to IKI.
Born on 31 December 2005 at 5:55 pm
Prematur, 1.9 kgs and 43 cms yet surprisingly healthy

Christmas Gifts

Look....look....my christmas gift from Hiro!!! [show off mode: ON]



I got Ken Hirai's special edition 10th year single album collection ('95-'05) with DVD bonus. It's public secret that I love Ken Hirai. His soft sexy voice, plus his muscular body, tough jaw, soft eyes, sexy dimples and smiles. Ehm...remember my HP's ringtone when I was in Indonesia? I remember some of you guys hated it...tick tack, tick tack....

Well, this Christmas present supposed to be a surprise gift tonight, but Hiro was not careful enough to hide it from me hahahaha. I found it last week, so sadly he just handed it to me. Sorry dear, to ruin your surprise gift. But I did fel very happy with the present. Ken Hirai is sooo damn handsome hehehe.

Therefore today I planned to made christmas cake as a present for Hiro. You know I'm not good in baking -ehm, I ruined my Kue Sus last time- but I wanted to try again. I couldn't give anything to him, so perhaps this cake (made by my love) could be a nice simple gift from me (^__^).

As a beginner, I wanted to make strawberry sponge cake. From my recipe book, it looked tempted and easy. And so did I try.

I had no electric mixer or whisk, so I had to beat the eggs and sugar manually. I took me 3 hours beating to get the similar batter as shown by the pictures in my recipe book. I almost cried and gave up, but because sometimes Hiro helped, I was encouraged to continue beating. Hmmm...you have no idea how painful my right hand was.

BUT THEN!!!! After baking it in the oven for 10 minutes (as written in the book), all I got was the black-overcooked-BANTAT-cake. DAMN DAMN DAMN. My heart sank. I fell on my knees in front of the oven, staring at the failed cake desperately, CRYING. The tears just fell down unexpectedly. It's supposed to be a christmas gift for Hiro. He might be glad with a bit too sweet or not beautifully decorated cake, but this one was definitely a CRAP. I was so dissapointed. Not only because I don't have another gift for Hiro, but also for the 3 hours beating!!! HUAAAAAA



Hiro laughed seeing me crying in front of the oven. And maybe because he understood my dissapointment, he told me to change my cloth and to go shopping together.

It was then how I got my second christmas gift. Electric mixer or whisk. Completed with hand blender and electric chopper hehehehe.

How I LOOOVEEEEE Hiro!!!!!!!

Merry Christmas, everybody...............!!!! (^_-)

Beautipul

One thing I like being in Korea is that most of people I met said "Oh...you are very beautipul" (Korean can't pronounce "f") hihihihi

In the bank, in the taxi, in my yoga class for instance

(^_______^) [narcist mode: ON]

Christmas Tree

December.....

Time where Christmas decoration can be found at almost every corner of the street here. The colorful lights on the trees can bring a kind of warm feeling during this breezing winter.

This december is different for me. This would be the first Christmas spent with Hiro. This would be the first Christmas of me being a wife, perhaps also the only Christmas with huge stomach in which an-always-moving-baby exists. This would also be the first Christmas for me away from my own country. Well...I'd lived separatedly with my family for 8 years that i thought this won't make any difference. But still I feel the difference.

No familiar gift exchanges here. No familiar rush to the Church. No familar warm hand shakings. No familiar shopping-for-christmas aura. At least in my house.

But one different thing this year, I have this big Chrismas tree from Hiro. At least I can feel that I'm one of those who are actually celebrating Christmas. After decorating tiny CDU's christmas tree for 3 years, at least now I have my own tree hehehehe.




I doubt if I will go to church this year -Forgive me, God-, but I will celebrate this holy day with my own way. Well, not going to the church doesn't always mean not believe in God rite? He...he...he.... (^__^)

My first winter

During my childhood, through televisions, story books and pictures, winter in my mind was equal with the white world. Where beautiful snow covered the houses and trees and cars and roads thickly. Where people with thick jacket walking happily with their smoked breath. Where snowman statues and christmas decorations could be found almost everywhere. Where there's nothing but happiness you can see and feel.

I knew that it must be cold. But since I lived in the hot-the-whole-year Indonesia, I'd love to experienced cold white winter. I'd love to try making snowman. I'd love to play with snow balls. I'd love to be under the beautiful snow shower. And I'd love to step my small feet and running along snowy roads. All I imagined was happiness in the white world.

Yet now I really am living in a country with its famous cold winter. All my childhood imagination were all gone now. I saw snow shower and experienced living in this white snowy place, but this is not as what I imagined hahahahahaha



It is beautiful. Look at the photo taken from our apartment. I wanted badly to run downstair after taking the photo, doing all the things I'd imagined during my childhood. But once the elevator door opened, I was shocked. IT WAS SO DAMN COLD. I can hardly move or breath. First because of my too thick clothes that stiffed my body, and second because of the cold air was like a sharp knife to my skin.

Then once I walked onto the snowy road, I almost fell down. It was really slippery!!! Well, I had to hold Hiro really tight because several times I got slipped. If I fell down.....it would be really dangerous. Not for me-because I fell down a lot in my life- but for my son. This surprisingly slippery snow changed my mind of beautiful snow, and made me extra carefull to walk alone.

And today.....the beautiful of the snow was gone. Wet slippery roads with dirty snow were all left. The city looked very dirty today because of that, and not to mention the cold air. I felt suffering walking with my shopping stuffs this afternoon. I was like a walking ball with my ready-for-a-war-with-cold clothing meanwhile those Koreans were only wearing 1 pieces of jackets. I can't believe it. Are they skins so thick that can protect them from cold?!?! (Jadi mbayangin kulitnya badak hihihi)

Anyway, here's my first winter. It's only December now...I can't imagine how cold would it be on January brrrrrrrr

Eating alive octopus

As usual, Hiro and I usually have dinner outside on weekends, which could be either Saturday or Sunday. He introduces me to delicious yet sometimes weird Korean food. Well, being in Korea does also mean that I have to try Korean food, rite?!

So last Saturday after going back from Gangnam, we looked for restaurant nearby our apartment that sells octopus. The previous two weeks we had a really nice octopus soup so I'd like to eat the same food again. We were too exhausted to think of trying new food as well as too scared of getting new weird taste.

First restaurant we entered sold the octopus soup for 50,000 won, which is damn expensive because the previous octopus soup we had was only 15,000 won. So we just got out of that restaurant quickly and looked for other restaurant. The restaurant we knew was closed that night, so we felt lucky enough to get 20,000 won octopus at this other restaurant. With his limited Korean, Hiro explained what we wanted to the waitress, and then we just waited for the food coming doing some chit-chat.

Then the food came. It was not Octopus soup like what we expected!!! apparently there was misunderstanding, and we just knew no words of how to explain it. Instead of hot octopus soup served, we got a plate of alive baby octopus. Though finely cut, still alive and moving!!!! Some body parts even tried to run away from the plate. Well, follow this link to see the still-moving-octopus and you will understand how I felt!

I was so shocked. What a poor baby octopus!!......I couldn't imagine of eating it!! I could feel its desperate defense when I tried to take it by chopsticks. It moved panicly in my spoon, and I could feel the so called tentakels sticked on my tongue and throat, as if trying to prevent itself of getting drown into my stomach. I almost vomitted, and was sure I wouldn't manage to eat the second one. Come on....!! that thing was still alive! I even still saw it in the aquarium in front of the restaurant just before we entered. Was so small and cute. I didn't have such a cruel heart to eat more!
So Hiro saved me by asking the waiter -of course using body language as well- to put some moving octopus into boiled water. Phew...

And the poor octopus suddenly became so delicious in a clear soup hahahahaha

The previous octopus soup

Fried Fingers

Accidents unexpectedly happen, dear friends....and so did to me again today.

As you read the title, perhaps you could guess when could it be. Yep. During cooking.
Our menu tonight was Japanese koloke. Differ to the koloke we are familiar with in Indonesia, Japanese koloke is like a croquette. More about this koloke thing can be read at kitchenku, but anyway the accident happened basically because I made too big koloke.

The koloke should be fried in middle temperature, that is about 170-180 Celcius degree. So we fried the first giant koloke in the right temperature. Then we decided to make the rest of koloke smaller, so I had to re-shape the other koloke before got fried. I got too concentrating in making new ones that I didn't make the fire smaller nor turned the stove off. When the koloke ready, I put it in flour bowl, then egg bowl and finally bread powder bowl. This stages made my fingers covered with thick bread powder and it was when I couldn't really feel stuffs. So when I put one new koloke into the TOO HOT oil, I put also my fingers together with it. And that's how I got my right ring and little fingers fried, covered with mixed of flour, egg and bread powder.

I screamed and cried like a kid. Was so DAMN painful, and IS still now. I already put my fingers in cold water for more than an hour, but they're still painful. I can't use my right hand properly now (T_T)

Ummm one thought just passed my mind. What if I didn't pull my fingers out immediately at that time? perhaps I got them overcooked now. Would they be as delicious as those fried koloke?! hihihihi bego!

Kitchen-ku

My kitchen is my office, my territory now. The only place to run away, hide myself behind my PC monitor and make myself busy. Place where I spend most of my time here, either cooking, having lonely lunch, cleaning or nge-net. Uhm plus daydreaming sih (^_-)


kitchenku

So fresh from this kitchen, i proudly published, daily recipes I have cooked:

Kitchen-ku

It's in Indonesian, my native language. I found out that it is so much easier to write those cooking stuffs in Indonesian. Suddenly I become incapable using English in cooking field hiks hiks hiks. I am definitely a beginner!

I know some of you don't believe that I can cook something instead of poison, so please check it out. Perhaps you wanna try some. Don't worry....the recipes have been tried already by Hiro and he's still alive or having no stomachache up to now.

OBS-GYN

Since I came to Incheon, I've visited two OBS-GYN hospitals. To talk to the doctors, and decide which one would be the best for delivering my baby. Previously, Hiro and his interpreter already visited several hospitals here, so they came up with two best ones for me to choose.

The first hospital I visited almost two weeks ago is supposed to be the best hospital according to Hiro. The staffs are kind, they can arrange any of our requests: have a VIP room where I can stay alone, give permission to my husband or my relatives to accompany me inside the labor room, can arrange a pre-natal exercise, and close to our apartment. The thing is, the doctor couldn't speak English well. He couldn't even tell us about date in English. Sad...sad. We like this hospital, but I feel somewhat uncomfortable with a doctor who speaks language I don't understand.

And so this morning we went to the other hospital that is well-known as the best OBS-GYN hospital in this city. Unfortunately there I can't have pre-natal exercise nor a privacy room on my own. The doctor speaks English fluently. The things is, she's kind of senior doctor who has her own rule and I can't say she has this comforting aura. Anyhow, she does speak English and that's important for us.
As usual, before laying down myself onto the USG table, I asked the doctor not to tell the baby's gender to Hiro. I thought it was fair enough since the father has the right to choose whether he wants to know the gender or not. BUT SHE TOLD HIM!!!! At first she told me in an implicit way: that the baby goes after the father. OK I can accept it, I knew Hiro won't understand that expression. BUT then she made it clear. Its a MALE. a BOY. Congratulations!!!!

We screamed. OH MY GOD!!! Why should she tell us?!
She said that it's a must in Korea. That it is illegal if the parents don't know the baby's gender. Things we couldn't understand logically. Damn. I was so down to see Hiro's dissapointed face. It was supposed to be a nice surprise later on!! (>_<)

Anyway.....in spite of that unexpected surprise, we're happy to see our baby. This time Hiro can already recongnize it. He can see the head, body, thigh, spine cord. Even we can see the face quite clearly. We can see the ear. We also can see the eyes and mouth, which were closed first but opened slowly later on. Dear God, the feeling was unexplainable. Look at the picture below. Can see the face? can see the big nose? - just like his father's hahaha. Hiro said he's like a monkey hahahaha....but he's my handsome boy (^_-).


My baby's face


mouth and eyes opened

How how how? Can you guys see that my baby is handsome?? huehuehuehe

Where's my confidence?!?!!?

During pregnancy, hormones plays a great role. Well yeah, trust me. It can make you very happy that you feel like flying in an air balloon passing through beautiful countryside area at one time, but at another time it can make you feel like drowning in an arctic ocean. Deep, cold, dark, unpredictable...

I got the last one now.

As my pregnancy getting older, I feel like I lost my self confidence. Let's say it used to be one important factor in my life. I believe you guys knew me as a little girl with high confidence, rite? Pity, am not right now.

My stomach is getting bigger, the skin is darkened and there're blue lines started being clearly seen. No waist left so I look like flat ironing board from behind. Not to mention my boobs. OK, big boops are probably sexy, but TOO big are scary!! especially if they're also darkened with brown spots and of course blue lines. As if my chest couldn't hold them anymore.

Next are my underarms. The skin there are also disgusting now. Blackened that i had to put my tank top shirts inside the suitcase when i was in Indonesia last week. The arms themselves are getting bigger, showing how much fat I gained in these past few months.

My thighs and legs. They're basically big, and now they're getting much much bigger; decorated with eschema. Arrgghhh!! I look like having acute skin disease.

And last, my fingers. They are swelling. I can't even wear my wedding ring now.
So I have 10 small and fat fingers that look like small fat carrots.

I am easy tired, can't walk a lot. My feet can't support my heavy body and become painful. So despite my ugly physical appearance, I also hate being a burden to people surrounding.

Can I rent Harry Potter's invisible cloak? or can I just become like Violet of Mr. Incredibles who can make herself invisible? Or simply like yahoo messenger, where I can exist yet invisible the whole day?

Am drowning in an Arctic ocean right now. Deep, cold, dark, unpredictable....

Help me. I want to get back my self confidence

My New Life

Hi Hi Hi.....

I'm in cold Korea now. 5 busy first days here, I started my life as a real housewife already!!!!
Imagine!!
I must do the housechores. From cleaning, cooking, to shopping for daily needs. Kitchen is my office desk now, and there I spend most of my time. Well, I mean, really like my office, facilitated with a PC hahahaha

We live in a 23rd floor 3-bedrooms apartment. It's still messy now since we have still many stuffs in boxes, and expecting lots more coming this week. The view from our place is gorgeous since it is at the highest floor, but my husband got this high place phobia hahahahaha. This place is also well furnitured and equipped. I got nice spacey kitchen, but unfortunately I can't access all the cupboards since they're the way too high from my reach hiks hiks.


View from our apartment

Anyway, this would be our home for this coming 3 years. It's still for the two of us, but coming year we'll have this new family member here. Please wish me the best to be a good wife and mother (^_^)

These past two weeks

Woa.....long time not writing anything here!!! At last now I got the mood and the chance.

I am not in Japan anymore since about two weeks ago. Ehm....I was in INDONESIA!!! Thanks for you friends who were willing to accompany me, and sorry to those I couldn"t meet during my short visit this time. I am in Korea already now and starting my real marriage life here.

It was busy days, but I HAD A GREAT TIME!!!!!!!!!! Oh how I loved being back in my country.

Only Vebby and Nyo knew about my coming back to Indonesia, so I had some funny and interesting time to surprise some friends. Wehehehe I always enjoyed being a surprise [narcist mode: ON]

Vebby asked Valens to come to her place to treat him dinner. So he was like the first one to be surprised. I still remembered his wide round opened rounded eyes and mouth when he saw me got off the taxi hehe

Vebby arranged an all-you-can-eat dinner at Tomodachi for Vitria, Adnan, Valens, Mariza, Carla, Rina and Arief. But Arief didn't show yet accidently I met June and Devina there. I enjoyed their surprised face and reaction. Carla cursed, Vitria screamed, Mariza couldn't talk, and Adnan with his wide opened mouth.

Surprising Arief was the best part cause i got the best reaction hehehehe. I came to CDU out of sudden, opened the door cheerfully, and made Arief shocked, called my name for many many times and fell on the floor with his tears. His reaction made me speechless. But I was very very happy to be able to meet him again. He was still Arief I used to know, with his special characters and funny jokes, but with his new hobby: making cookies (to be sold unfortunately, not be be given to me as present). But I can say here that you should try his Kaastengel. Ehm...bit expensive, so better ask lots of sample Kaastengel cookies from him hahaha.

Sheila surprised me just before I went to Japan by coming out of sudden to my apartment. She was still in Surabaya when I came there, so I got the chance to pay her back for her surprised hohoho. I loved her funny shocked face, rounded eyes and oh-so-loud scream on her door when I came there with Vebby, Nyo and Carla. hihihi GOTCHA girl!!

Nina got surprised by Vebby's joke (that she's getting married) on the phone. Vebby and I made tricky story to fool Nina and Vitria at that time, but it made Nina came over the weekend to Surabaya hahaha. So happy to meet her again. We had a great time going to TP with Vitria, and Karaoke with Adnan, Arief, Mul, and Roy.

Vebby asked Emmy to come to Banana Leaf restaurant when Vebby, Nyo and I had lunch together there. Hihihihi she was surprised that she mumbled out some weird words. After watching us having lunch, Emmy went to my house; and the next weekend we watched movie together at TP with Mariza as well.

Carla said that she would go for a movie one afternoon with some excellogix friends: Boo, Denny and Jon. So suddenly I got the idea to surprise the boys.

Hmmm but I failed to surprise Tina because bitchy arief stole the thunder. He told her in advance on the phone. HUH..!!

This visit was wonderful. Full of laughter and jokes. It was the best way to say good bye, with wide smile and happy faces. Even Ayik came from Bojonegoro a day before I left Surabaya. Perfect.



------------

I ate almost all the food I've terribly missed and ate some other more delicious than ever food:
Kangkung hot plate and Gurame rica at Layar
Bebek goreng canggih with its special tasty oily sauce
Kwetiaw siram at Apeng
Yakiniku at Angus House
Soto ayam at Pucang
Nasi Padang with Tina at CDU
Chinese food at XO in restaurant in TP
Soto Banjar at Kedung doro
Cocofrio ice cream
Lele penyet at Indokee in Citraland
Mie Dok dok Ploso
Javanese fried noodle at Ondomohen
Mie Ujung Pandang at Kertajaya Indah
Bubur ayam surya
La Mien at PAM's
Bakso Pak Salam
Cah Jagung and Bakwa pedas made by Tina's maid
Tom Yam soup at Banana Leaf
Terong goreng made by Tante Nanik's maid
Indomie goreng made by Vebby
Indomie Ayam with egg made by Valens
Ham and Cheese crepes at de'Crepes TP
4 Kgs Rambutan sent by Ayik from Bojonegoro

Hmmmm...writing those food down already made me drooling again. But life must go on. I was lucky enough that I got chance to eat them in such a short time.

Well, new life is starting now. Bye-bye surabaya, see you again friends. Ehm!! this time i won't come out of sudden in a month hehehe (^___^)

(_ _o)

These past few weeks I feel like doing everything wrongly. I feel like I took the wrong decision. I feel like I said the wrong words. I feel like I couldn't understand anything and left blank. I feel like I forgot-and dropped-and left many important things. I feel like I lost my brain and consciousness.

I was thinking that it is because of the situation. It gave me pressure that I lost my control and sense.

I also once blamed the hormones that caused me into this weak-fragile-sensitive-and easy crying woman.

But today in the train on my way back home, I knew one thing. The center of problem is ME myself.

Am scared now.......

Mt. Fuji

Yesterday I had a trip to Mt. Fuji with my sister-in-law's family and my parents in law. They had planned it since last week, but due to bad weather they were about to cancel it. Therefore last weekend I went to Yokohama to stay there, because I didn't think I couldn't manage to Mt. Fuji with my big stomach. I would only be a problem to them.

But well...dealing with kids and promise hahaha. The two children kept begging the father to go to Mt. Fuji if the weather forecast was positive, and they used me also as a reason (>_<). "Papa...mama...shierly never goes to Mt. Fuji. Want to go there while Shierly is here..."

So, early morning yesterday, the kids woke up very early and grabbed newspaper. Once they saw that Shizuoka area will only be cloudy, they woke up everybody and cried to the father to go to Mt. Fuji.

So At last after four times coming to Japan, I visited Mt. Fuji.....


Mt. Fuji

Beautiful mountain, right? and I DID wish I could see it!!!!!!!!

WELL......it was NOT raining, but it was FOGGING. Great!! We had a trip around the mountain; got out of highway from Shizuoka area, visited a pasteurization ranch there, had Soba as lunch at a very traditional Japanese restaurant deep in thick-fogging mountain, moved around to see the five lakes of Mt. Fuji , and at last went back to Yokohama from highway entrance at Gotemba. If I saw a map at the guide book, we've driven almost around Mt. Fuji. Only to see large bottom of it hahahahaha.

Tragic huks huks....I went to Mt. Fuji, but the Mt. Fuji was hidden by the thick fog.

Anyway, I had a great time. To experience that Mt. Fuji area was not cold during autumn. It was FREEZING (^_^). Everyone said that it's for my training to experience how cold Korea wuld be hahaha....

Happy mother

I was so happy...

I went to doctor last week. Saw my baby again after a month, at a maternity clinic at Takashima Daira. Well, it was not so easy to find an English speaking doctor here, so I was so thankful finally I could find that clinic. The clinic is owned by a couple of obs-gyn, and both can speak English fluently because they stayed at the USA for quite a long time.

At first she showed me the baby's heart beat. I was almost jumped of happiness. Well, that it the SIGN that my baby is ALIVE!! strong and fast, sounded loud to my ear.

Then she showed me the baby. Woa.....already much bigger now. Not as tiny as I could remember. The head is perfectly round, completed with brain, eyes and nose bone. The heart is beating strongly. The back bone has a perfect shape. Fat already covered the baby, so I could see the fatty hands and thighs already. Cute cute cute!!!!! I can't describe my feeling here. It was just so wonderful to see him moving around. To see the baby opened the palms and shows the complete fingers. Especially to see how the legs opened and showed me the gender. Huehehehehehe!!!

I screamed. hihihi the doctor was surprised, but she said that the reaction could be understood.

I will be mother soon. Woa....unbelieavable!!!!

I went home still full of happiness, and in the full train, for the first time someone stood up and gave the seat for me!!! Hehehehe really a mother day.

Then last weekend Hiro came from Korea. So happy to meet him again. And most of all, my baby showed the movement already to him. The father could feel the baby kicking.....

Hmmm....waiting forward to see you again, kid!

Sloppy bitch

At last my sloppy habit came after being careful not to show it to anybody here these past few weeks (_ _o)

I lost my new ID CARD axdcwiezxawlkzfnwaezefj;ld GRRRRRRRRRR

WHY ID CARD?? WHY??

Damn, I'm a sloppy bitch!

I miss Indonesian food!!!

It's almost dinner time now. Been more than two weeks eating these Japanese food already. Now guess what's in my mind? all kinds of cheap 'warung' food from indonesia are jumping around. I can't help not to drool right now.

I just read my maternity book. There written that during these few weeks, pregnant woman of my age will want some unbelievable food badly. But....these are not weird food. All I want now are those cheap Indonesian food I used to have. Help help help. Really want them badly now!!!!

Siomay at Widya Mandala University Kalijudan
Pentol seribu-an also at Widya Mandala University Dinoyo
Bakso and Pangsit Mie Pak Salem
Mie rebus at a warung nearby Lempuyangan station at Jogjakarta
Soto banjar at a warung on Jl. Kedungdoro
Nasi Padang near CDU office
Kwetiaw siram babi - without vegetables- at Apeng
Nasi bebek Canggih
Nasi Kuning Banjar in front of KONI
Pangsit Mie Ujung Pandang on Jl. Kertajaya Indah
Bakmi Goreng + telor penyet of Depot Lestari
Lele penyet at warungs along Jl. Dharmahusada
Cakalang pedes made by my dear mom
Kangkung pedes made by Pei's mom
Pindang pedes made by mbak Parti
Bakso bakar at Malang
Soto ayam Pucang
Cocofrio icecream with Valens
Nasi Goreng ikan asin at Bima
Lo Mie at Pasar Atum
Cakwe Isi udang at Pasar Atum
Tahu tek tek that moves around Dharmahusada area
Mie dok dok pedes that passes nyo's kost every 10 p.m
Nasi Korned at canteen of Widya Mandala Kalijudan
Indomie goreng made by Pei
Indomie kaldu ayam + telor made by Valens
Cah baby corn + bakwan puedess made by Tina's maid
Babi rica made by my mom
eRWe aka spicy dog of Manadonese restaurant nearby Bratang
etc
etc
etc

GOD!!!! I'm really drooling now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (>_<)
And my baby just kicked my stomach right now = "MAMA!!! I WANT THOSE FOOD!!"

Thanks to Mariza that lead me to imagine these foods!