Virginity topic

Valens' story about virginity today aroused many comments and opinions from some friends. Though some prefered to be passive audiences due to the heavy topic and language he used [read: Indonesian]

I will try to put myself at the girl's position.
She had a boyfriend. Loved him deeply that she trusted him and gave him her virginity.
But the boyfriend cheated on her by having affair. Broke her heart, lost her courage to face reality.

What would I do?

I would cry. I got hurt. I would hate the guy that he couldn't be trusted. I would hate myself of not be able to keep my boyfriend's love. I would lose my confidence. I would lose my trust to men. I would lose my trust to love.

BUT.....I won't cry for the virginity. I won't hate myself of not having that anymore. It's not a rape case. I won't regret such a thing. If I did that, meant it's only my excuse to blame him. But in this case he is not the only one to be blamed, right?

Life is about a game. All you need is confidence to take the control, to choose the path; but be ready with whatever the result is. Be the gone be by gone. Future is the more important thing to be faced. It takes time, but time will heal the pain.

The girl loved the boy deeply, but the boy didn't respect her by doing such affair. So NOW, it's time for the girl to love and give respect to HERSELF. Show the boy the he was being so stupid by leaving such a precious girl.

Hhhhhh...actually.....It is easy for me to say this for you to think of, but still I didn't have such a courage. Love is blind and I am. But trust me....if this happened to me again, then I WOULD.

Where do I belong.....?

Lately I read several topics about multicultural issues, and Ella's last blog about how racial the Indonesian students in Berlin reminded me of my childhood and inspired me to write this.

I was born from a mixed couple. My dad is a Manadonese and my mom is a Banjarese. I may look like a chinese from my mom's blood: small eyes. But I have colored skin and I am a REAL Indonesian.

Due to my parents' business, I spent my childhood moving from one city to another. Jakarta - Banjarmasin - Manado - Banjarmasin - Surabaya. I was still TOO small to feel anything when I was in Jakarta, but in Banjarmasin I spent quite a time and experienced this so-called discrimination.

I graduated from a Catholic Junior High school where 90% of the students were Indonesian-Chinese students. There everybody addressed me: hiii native........Just because I didn't have as fair skin as theirs.

Then I entered public Senior High School where 90% of the students were Banjarese. I remember, from the whole students of the same year (5 classes of 45 students), there were only 5 non Muslims students. There.....they addressed me: Shierly...? oh...the chinese one....

Happened also in Surabaya. During my first 2 years in Uni, I took 2 different majors at 2 different universities. One was a Catholic uni, while the other was not. Again for some, I was Shierly the chinese girl; while for others I was Shierly the native.

Now that my working places are multicultural ones, I feel relieve not hearing that anymore. But once I get into the society........I will be AGAIN addressed both as "native" and "chinese" from different groups of people. Why can't society just leave this "native" or "chinese" nicknames? I'm sick of it. We are all Indonesian. We may come from different races, have different religions and speak different languages, but we are from the SAME country. I really understand how the children from a mixed cultural background feel. We don't know where do we belong?

Whole of my life, I have experienced lots of discrimination. That's why I HATE racial people sooooooo much.

Korean drama: Full House

full house

Vei bought the drama series in Jakarta. At first I was not interested. Well, 16 episodes = 16 hours!! I thought....time of watching drama series for hours had passed already. I can hardly find time to watch 1.5 hour movie, I wouldn't be able to manage 16 episodes drama!

But then....while waiting for Nina's coming....I accompanied Vei's mom watching the first episode. And I just fell in love to the drama. Soooo simple. Sooo touching. Soooo funny. SO I decided to spend my relaxing Sunday watching that in stead of sleeping.

The review of the drama is here. I'm not writing it here coz it would be too long. Starred by Song Hye Kyo and Bi. The story is simple, but the humour is not exageratting like other korean comedies I have watched. I smiled, I laughed out loud, I cried the whole episodes. Now i'm sitting in front of my lap top with big eyes. Not because of crying after fighting with Hiro hehehe....but because of got touched by Bi and Song Hye Kyo's acting.

Really recommended!!! your laughs and tears are worthed.

I finished it at 3:20 AM and now can hardly open my eyes (even after 2 cups of coffee!). Yesterday Vei told me that she has another drama. 22 episodes!!! WEKS....must start it on Saturday evening hahahaha

This evening I will open again my unopened-for-2-years Korean lesson book.*grin*.
AJA AJA PAITING (fighting - in Korean pronunciation hihihi)

Girls night

Such a great night last night!!!!!!

Nina is in town, so we [me and Vitria] had this small reunion with her. Spent the whole afternoon at TP: eating, shopping, drinking, shopping, drinking again, shopping again then eating again. We went out of TP because they turned off the lamp already [read: CLOSED sign].

Then the night just started. After changing shopping costumes into clubbing ones, we off to Desperados at about 23:00. Met Carla and Rina there. Tried to find good spot, but failed. Hiks....I only can see the cute bald guitarist from my seat. The band is nice, they chose the perfect songs, and they have a very good voice. As the music got hotter, our body started to moved, slowly but sure, crazily. We went to the dance floor, and there I found out....HOLYSHIT!!!! the vocalist is soooooooo handsome. Justin Timberlake wanna be, but the hell. He's just a real entertainer. And we did enjoyed the band very much.

I sweat a lot, I sang a lot till now I almost lost my voice, I got drunk and I laughed a lot. Everybody DID. Everybody satisfied. Everybody was happy. We left the place at 3:00 AM and never regret to pay that much for such a fun we got.

Since Hugo's opened, we always go there. So I didn't go to Desperados for about 6 months. Amongst all, for us Desperados is the best pub in Surabaya. The hell with people's negative opinion that it is a hooker center. We just couldn't find a place with greater music here!!

I work hard but I PLAY hard. It's how I enjoy my life. I know this won't last forever, THAT'S WHY I want to have this as much as possible [read: both WORK and FUN]. This would be the thing I will miss at the first place.

Nice busy day

This morning I got THE NICEST EMAIL throughout the year from my boss!!! Everyone in the office is happy, and my motivation got pushed until MAXIMUM level today. And surprisingly it can bring back our good teamwork. How nice!

This is the most productive day in the month. I can make several articles at once, and at the other office I can do 3 days' work in 4 hours, while handling complaints using nice-to-be-heard words. Still I can add stories in my blog! or probably another story later....? hahahaha. Ideas keep popping up uncontrollable.

Exhausted now....My brain, my body, and my mouth were pushed to work over their limits today, but I can smile WIDELY (^_________^). I love being busy!

Oh...and I do miss HIM (^_-)

*imoet is going back again to work now!*

About ti-uti

I know this guy in 1997, so more or less 8 years already. Been VERY close before, yet now we are still good friends. We've been ups and downs together, laughing and crying, even shouting to each other. But no one (except Vei) knows me better than him.

I was very mean to him. Possesive, demanding, and always want him to realise what I want. Being so damn egois, without ever think of how he feels. But he's always be there for me. Gives me his hands whenever I need help, ready with his shoulder whenever I need it to cry on, comes in a second if I need a companion, hates Soto Banjar so much yet willing to eat it whenever I want it hehehe. The only one who can bear my harsh words. He is a friend, a brother, and also a teacher.

Once we went to Tanggulangin with his family. There I saw a nice bag (he knows I'm a bag maniac). Was about to buy it, but the price came to my consideration. But then his father, the unpatient type, rushed everybody to go home once he finished his business there. All the way back to Surabaya ti-uti knows I can't let the bag go out of my mind. So an hour after we arrived in Surabaya, he took me to the same place again by motorbike!!!! It needs about an hour drive. AND at last I didn't buy the bag. His face was grey already....but still be so patient.......

Ouw....trying to recall another stories, but TOO much to be written here. Shortly, lots of similar events happened. Can u imagine how nice is he?!

Still me myself always comes first in my priority. He's a spot that is almost forgotten when I have colorfull tone in my life, but the one I count on when there's no one available.

He is simple yet complicated. Combination of serious and humorous type. To whom I forget all about my pride ==> the only one I feel free to ask buying me stuffs I like HAHAHA. He is warm and nice, smart and patient, religious and open minded. Everybody likes him. Everybody admires him. And everybody just can't believe why he's still very nice to me amongst all things I've done to him. YET they feel relieved that he is no more than a bestfriend for me (any objections, friends? hehehe)

I just realised last night when Vei, Nyo and I talked about him; that he is a guy that is TOO good to be TRUE. Tell me if you can find a man of his kind in nowadays cruel world! His future wife would be very lucky - which is NOT me! hehehe

My darling is a foreigner

ダーリン　は　外国人

Hiro told me how popular this manga is in Japan and since we forgot to buy it in Tokyo, he reminded me to buy ones in Narita before I left. But....yeah, as usual. Forgotten. *grin*

So last Sunday he bought the manga. Laughed his heart out telling the FUNNY stories on the phone, inviting my curiosity to look for information about this book. Then I read some reviews about it, and since it has something to do with multicultural issues, my greatest interest, I couldn't stop finding more and more reviews. In addition, I am now in the process of developing a research proposal about similar field. A bonus hehehe.

The manga is about heartwarming story of the daily life of an international couple in Japan. How small cultural difference that actually can lead into fighting be seen from humour point of view. Meanwhile the manga is also very even-handed in critiquing both Japanese and non-Japanese preconceptions and stereotypes. Written also, that actually from the manga itself, Japanese simple daily life and Japanese habits can be seen. Another media to learn culture, indeed.

The more I read the reviews, the more I want to read the manga. Pity, no english translation available yet (_ _!). So Hiro....be prepared to translate it for me hehehehehehehe (^_-) *wink*

Oh pren....!

A friend surprised me this afternoon.

Iyan had his birthday party in January. Treat all the groups karaoke and lunch together. We had so much fun at that time. It's always nice to gather with friends again.

Coming month several friends will have birthday. They plan to make one party for all. This afternoon Iyan called one of the birthday people and said: "Hey!! last January I spent more than a million to treat you guys. Next month you MUST spend at least the same!!"

Shocking.....

If you treat your friends, are you expecting your friends to treat you also at the same price? We never asked him to spend such a lot of money.

If you help your friends, are you expecting your friends to be ready for helping you as well? Isn't a sincere help the best medicine when needed?

Is friendship a matter of paying back?

We never counting every pennies we spent BUT enjoyed together. We never re-caling the hands we gave for the smiles we got. The only thing we remember is how nice it is to be together, sharing the stories and the laughs!!!!

He seems to be a stranger for me now. Well, people change, life change......but he is now surprisingly dissapointing!!!!

Nostalgia stove

Look look loook!!!!!!!!! [show off mode:ON]


Nostalgia stove

The nostalgia stove..........brought by Yunita from German as a surprise present hehehehehehe *dancing happily*

I saw it at Germany's online shopping website, and ordered it before Yun came, but she said that it was out of order. [LIAR!!!]. Surprisingly then she came with that stove.....[muaaachhhhh to Yun]. And the best part isssss, I don't have to pay hehehe (^_-)

So yesterday, after cleaning the messy desk in my room, I lit the candle, put the lavender aromatherapy and water inside the pan of the stove, enjoyed the relaxing aroma till sleeping the whole afternoon. I Woke up after 4 hours in HORROR because I felt the strong burning smell in my room. The water dried already and I can see black burnt sign at the bottom of the tiny pan. Panic, but I can clean it with wet cloth. Lucky that my nostalgia stove is a STRONG one!! *Phiuhhh*

Thanks Yun. I loooooove this gift.

Weird mouse

This afternoon at my full time work, I got the mouse of my computer stopped working. I tried to restart the PC, plugged out-in-out-and-in the mouse again and again, but i couldn't manage to make it working properly. Then I asked denni to check it. Broken - was Denni's conclusion. So I went downstair to ask for another mouse from our technical support, Nuz.

Nuz then came in with another old mouse. Hmmm I think I deserve a new one, but I was not lucky enough. In addition, no new mouse stock here. Apparently then the other old mouse was also a broken one. So Nuz brought upstair a-weird-look mouse. I've never seen such mouse in that shape. Since it is a VERY old fashioned one. It didn't even have PS2 plug (don't expect USB then!). Denny had to do with something like BIOS one to make it work. Actually while waiting I was praying so that It would NOT work, but hikkkssss......this smart ass Denni dissapointed me.

So now my PC has this weird mouse (T___T). I have no idea how old it is, and I'm surprised we still have this one in the office. It works properly, so actually I should be happy. BUT It's SO BIG for me. It is 1.5 of my small palm size. And with my short fingers, this is a real problem. I can't click it as easy as I wished.

When I grumbled out loud, Carla said that it shouldn't be called mouse. It is a RAT! hahaha....but for my hand.....IT IS LIKE A RABBIT!!

Releasing anger

People have different way to release tense and stress.

We have problems in the office lately. Put everybody's motivation down because negotiating and cooperating could not work anymore. Still there're stupid technical problems, like computer errors and loosing important cd drivers.

I am not good in controlling my temper. And every day I have to face complaints, including silly complaints about computer errors. Come on...!!! Being technical support is not written in my working contract!
So this afternoon I blew up. There was computer error and I was in my other office already when it happened. My colleague called and expected I could help to fix it. Meanwhile THEY, the users, never listened to my advice or paid little attention on how to fix things. I'm not a technician!! but I am willing to learn to fix things yet am NOT patient enough to pass the knowledge AGAIN and AGAIN.

I shouted to him on the phone. The words came out from my mouth was not under control anymore. And well....I blamed him of all the computer errors. An hour later I realised I was a bit too much. It is silly thing. I should have controlled my words and explain things in better way.

My colleague is a sensitive hearted person. He always avoids direct attack but grumbling behind to release his anger or tense. I knew I hurted him that I felt bit guilty, but then I laughed out loud....

My other colleague called me. As he hung up the phone. He walked to the broken computer. Hit the monitor, put his finger in front of it, and shouted at it.

"YOU F***ING COMPUTER!! WHO DO U THINK YOU ARE?! LOOK WHAT U DID. HAPPY NOW SEEING ME FIGHTING WITH MY COLLEAGUE?!?!
ONLY COZ THIS IS A DUTCH COMPANY THAT U USE DEVIDE ET IMPERA TO US??!
&^r$&^*(&)_(_)*&t%%$$#^$*&^)*&)*&t$##" ==> Complete collection of Javanese swear words that are too VULGAR to be written here

Wahahahahahaha It was the first time in my life seeing a person cursing at OBJECT to release anger *laughing while imagining his funny way of cursing*

DOH

Damn!

Just got email from Holland about the new payment procedure for the international students. JUST published 1 month before the deadline!!! Very nice. Now again the front liner in Surabaya office must face complaints.

I really give up. I am tired putting a smiling mask on my face, trying to calm everybody down. Meanwhile my boss keeps pushing us by reminding about the target and the other project which depends on our division’s achievement. My head is spinning around trying to figure out the best solution and explanation to both parties. Now I realize the consequences of working as a representative of a foreign institution in my country. I have to deal with people with different culture and habit, also way of thinking. Important matters for us wouldn’t always be a big deal for them. In the contrary as well.

And those other staffs here…oh my goddd…..!!!!!! Since I’m the office manager, they said that I have to handle all the complaints. This means they will gladly help to lead people with complaints to my desk *with grinning faces*. WTF!!! I really want to hit my head to the wall.

Waaaaaaa I can see already the days waiting ahead me (T___T) *tears tears*

Sakura oh sakura..so closed....

This morning I got several emails from my friends in Japan. All with attached pictures or links.....of HANAMI (The tradition of watching sakura while drinking with friends)!!!!! The sakura I missed last week. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (@_@). So close.........

Seems like almost everybody in that country are enjoying the beautiful view of this once-a-year flower.

Hiro's blog telling his last Saturday's experience, Hitoshi's email showing up some links with oh-so-wonderful pictures of the blooming flowers, Yuki's wide smile together with his friends under the tree, also one of Sho's; and even Jun told me he went to Tokyo last weekend and was about to have Hanami there. Who else queueing?
You guys are like mocking me hiks hiks hiks

When would my chance be? (T____T)

Japanese toilet

I was looking at my pictures in Japan when I found the pic of the toilet I took just before I left the hotel. Interesting. Japan is a high-tech country. Even the toilet is well equipped.


Japanese toilet

Everything is done by pushing buttons. Flushing, cleaning......even you can choose your toilet seat to be warm or cool. For me it was really interesting. I spent quite a long time being in the toilet. Not because I got stomachache or something, but because I was SO amazed and excited to try the button one by one hehehe.

Yet there are also traditional style toilets at public places. Pity I didn't take picture, but It almost the same with what we have in Indonesia. I thought...well, this is the normal one. But then I was panic. "Where the hell is the flushing pannel?!?!". No water available, and no sign at all how to work with that thing.
Once I stood up, it got flushed automatically. Oooooooo using sensor!!!! [melongo mode: ON]

Hmmmmm....one thing just passed my mind. What if there's BLACKOUT in Japan? How would this high-tech toilet work without electricity?!
Hihihihi those Japanese must be PANIC (^_-)

Sloppy me......AGAIN!!

I should have worked at CDU at afternoon shift today because I have to do some follow up. But then I changed my mind.

My passport needs to be renewed, and my ID card registered in Vei's family certificate in Malang. Thus it is impossible to renew the passport in Surabaya. I contacted Vei's mom and asked for the requirements, and she wished I could give all the documents needed to Vei (as this evening she's going home to Malang).

I kept all my important documents in a locked drawer at CDU. It was quite difficult to arrange my working hours, but then I managed to work at CDU in the morning. I prepared the documents already and put it on my desk.

It was quite a busy day. And this afternoon I had quick lunch appointment with my colleagues from CDU. I only had limited time to go to my other office, so I was really in a rush. I held the documents, but mother nature urged me to go to toilet first *BAH*.

Well.....then I arrived at my other office just on time. Felt relieved, I started to turn my PC on and had small talk with my friend. But then I stunned.....DAMN!!!!!! I FORGOT MY DOCUMENTS!!!!!!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Lately this sloppy matter is quite disturbing!! (_ _o)

Humanity wristband

As a result of vei's post on march 31. 2005 about a humanity wristband, several friends got interested and ordered it. This afternoon vei got package of the wristbands, so everybody was so excited wearing it. Look at our red wristband pictures.


Red wristband at Excellogix

This is a small contribution for the education of Indonesian children. Not expensive, only IDR 10,000. We do hope other people's hearts would get knocked to spare this small amount of money. The more people buy and wear this wristband, the more Indonesian children would be helped.

More information: www.tunascendekia.org

Word Game

During our one-hour journey by car to Osaka from Wakayama, to keep my eyes awoke after drinking too much the night before; I played word game with Yo-chan, Miyamoto-san's little daughter. I forgot the Japanese name of the game, but the game was like answer and reply games.

The first player has to say out loud a japanese word (must be a noun), then the other player have to say another word, using the last syllable of the word that the first player said. So for example, if the first word was rinGO, then the second player can reply GOri-ra. The game will continue until one of the player couldn't mention any word, or if the word mentioned is ended by dead letter: N. For example: ShinkanseN, or RameN.

My Japanese is still really bad. Beginner level, so it was quite challenging for me to play the game. Especially to drill again my Japanese vocabulary. Yo-chan is still 6 years old, so eventhough she's a Japanese, I still can reply every word she said -though sometimes I had to think really hard.

As the game got hotter, Miyamoto-san then made the rule, that the one who lose must waited in the car when we arrived at Universal Studios. I didn't want to lose from a kid, and Yo-chan didn't want to stay in the car. So we really did try hard to beat each other.

Until one point...
Me : unaGI (hohoho it's a difficult step for Yo-chan)
Yo-chan : ginkoU (she was so happy after thinking for quite while!)
Me : usaGI (HOHOHO...another GI)..

Then there's silence for few minutes. Yo-chan was thinking hard to find a word started with GI. She kept silent, but then when I looked at her, there were tears already rolling down from her small eyes. SHE'S CRYING!!! wahahahahaaahha


Yo-chan and I

I like this small girl. She's so charming. She is the only one to whom I can speak easy Japanese with. And I like her best when she acted like a teacher and taught me Japanese words using Direct Method (Sorry, only those who graduated from Teacher Training faculty know this term!).

We both like disney movies as well. Lilo and Stitch, Mr. Incredible, Mulan, Shrek. We chatted happily about our favourite characters. In Japanese!! I always be very enthusiastic talking about all disney movies.

I'm sure she would grow to be a smart girl. You go girl!!

Karaoke Box

After having dinner at the last night. Hiro asked me, what else wanted to do? Actually I felt so tired and wanted to go back to the hotel. Probably we could have nice last night talk together, but I told him that I want to try Karaoke in Japan instead. We tried to find karaoke nearby the restaurant, but unfortunately I couldn’t find any. So we decided to go to Shibuya.

We reserved a room for two. It was really small if I compared with the one I usually see in Surabaya. BUT high technology equipped. Pity I forgot to take picture coz I was half drunk and too excited to sing. I could search the song I wanted easily from a small remote-like-thing. Just ticked the letter there, and then that thing will find the song I want. The collection is so complete and updated. I could find all the songs there–English and Japanese.

It was so fun, especially both our voices are not singer-like ones hahaha. I love the songs he sang for me (though for me the songs should be addressed to him!!). Surprisingly in contrast with what I expected before I depart from Surabaya, I enjoyed every moment I spent in Japan. Hontou ni Arigatou.
(^_____^)

Sushi

During my stay Hiro always asked me what I wanted to eat and did his best to realize it. Since the first day I already said that I’d like to eat the real sushi, since the one I usually have Surabaya is kind of California roll, or volcano –which are not real sushi according to Hiro. We planned to eat it on Saturday, but then accidentally we went to Osaka thus my last night there was the only chance.

At first we planned to had dinner at Tsukijimi area (hmmm correct?!), but since I insisted to see the famous Harajuku spot first, and on Sunday it’s not easy to find a restaurant open that late, we decided to walk a long Harajuku to find a sushi restaurant. Well, not really walk coz then I gave up and cried for a train hehehehe.

Then we found this restaurant. The sushi was handmade, and I could see directly how to make it. We were lucky to be served directly by the manager. Eventhough according to Hiro, from 5 scale, he could give 3 points for the restaurant; for me it was the best sushi ever!!!


Sushi

Snowboarding

I woke up at 7:00 AM that morning, be prepared and rushed to Tokyo station with Hiro. Our shinkansen ticket would be at 8:48 to Niigata. The day before was tiring, but the image of snow motivated my eyes to open widely as the alarm rang.

It took 1.5 hours to Niigata, and the ski area was just a slight walk from the train station. At first I was wondering. Along the journey I didn’t see any snow, since I thought it’s spring already. But then the train got into a long tunnel….and as it went out of it, there’re mountainous areas covered with snow. Amazing.

After renting the costumes, we got into the gondola that took us up to the mountain. Hiro then taught me how to wear the heavy shoes, to stick it to the board, how to walk, to stand up, to slide, to turn, and to stop the board. It was my first experience. So damn difficult!!! We went to the beginner area and practiced. Well guys, as you guessed before, I did fall down a LOT of times. From 100 metres lane, I fell down for about 80% of it hahahaha


OUCH

But I had fun. Really thanks for Hiro. He realized one of our dream, showing me snow and had snowboarding together. Eventhough until this moment I still had muscle pain all over my body, it was like the best moment I had in my life.

Universal Studios Japan

It is located at Osaka. I went there with Hiro and Miyamoto’s family –without the son since he had baseball training in his school-

At first we went to Terminator 3D show. After queuing for about 20 minutes, we could get in. Together with about 60 people, we were welcomed by a very funny MC at a special room. Hiro said that Osaka people are people who love making jokes. This MC could make people laugh out loud. Then we were lead to the theatre to see the 3D show. Well, guys…..you know how I behave while having action movie, rite?!

Then we tried Back to The Future and Spiderman shows. Both are popular shows that we had to wait for 80 minutes, only for a 10 minutes show!!! I can imagine how impatient Hiro was hehehe…but thanks ;-) I do appreciate it.


spiderman 3D

I love the Back to the Future most. It made me screaming crazily during the whole show. I didn’t care what Hiro and Miyamoto’s family thought of me. I just enjoyed it too much and behaved as what I am. Thanks for bringing me to such a great place.

We went back to Tokyo by plane. Had my favourite Tonkotsu ramen as the dinner. Arrived at hotel at about 1:00 AM, exhausted and fell into asleep in a second I touched the pillow. What a great day I had that day!! (^______^)

Visiting a Japanese Family

While drinking together with Hiro’s colleagues, half drunk, we got sudden invitation to visit Miyamoto’s family at Wakayama.
He called his wife to prepare things, and flied first to Osaka. After continuing drinking for a while Hiro and I took a Shinkansen to Osaka.

It took 2.5 hours to Osaka. First I thought it was the end of the journey. BUT……Hiro bought another tickets!!! There was another hour by express train to Wakayama!!!

At last we arrived at about 1:00 AM, and drinking again till 4:00 AM. Miyamoto’s wife prepared everything since we didn’t bring any spare cloth. From toothbrushes, pajamas, night cream, cleanser, stocking, until underwear!!!

Another different habit, Japanese always take a bath before sleeping. How could I take a bath in a very drunk condition? Hiro saved me by telling them that an Indonesian would get sick taking bath in the middle of night hehehe. An excuse I always told him to get rid of taking a bath midnight (^_-).

It was quite an experience for me. A new experience. If a friend visited me, I just asked her to help herself. Showed her my cupboard and let her find everything available there. Always that way.

At my last day in Tokyo, Hiro bought me a book titled Japanese Family & Culture. There I read: "It is slightly bad form to arrive without a gift. Something from your own country is ideal. No need to go to great expense...."

WHAT?!?! I didn't bring any!!! OOPPPSSSSS

I'm Back...

I'm back here in Surabaya. Relieved with all the things happened last weekend.

He's the one who can hurt me that much, but he's the ONLY one who can bring me into great happiness.

What will be will be. BUT It has to be the good one hehehe.

A friend told me. Every story has an ending, and the control is in our hands, to make it happy or sad ending. Now I want it to be happy. I want to put all the past matters into another box in my heart, lock it, and throw away the key. Let it be that way. The future is there to be faced.

Tonight I plan to pack....

November 2 years ago, i was so excited doing it. Counting days to hours to seconds.
Vebby and Ayik were there to help me packing (well, my eternal problem is doing this kind of thing hehehe), laughing and chatting together. I remember I was sick at that time, but it was almost painless.

Tonight I will do the packing again. No idea what I feel inside now. Perhaps....panic...?! But this time I will step to another maturity phase. I don't want to lose what I already have now, yet I know that I have to be realistic.

Eniweizzzzzzz

Acik acik bakal ketemu cowokku. Bakal makan bareng lagi, bakal ketawa bareng lagi. Impian-impian yang dulu dibikin bareng bakal come true dalam hitungan hari: lihat sakura ama maen ski bareng. Sambil menyelam minum air. Sekali dateng, dua impian terlaksana! ===> imoet positive thinking and tired of speaking english hehehe.

Cantik....?!

Yesterday I was in the same plane with Manado soccer team (PERSMIN). I just found out that they will have a game with Surabaya soccer team tomorrow. Almost everyone in the plane got interested with this soccer team. Well, you know....they are kind of celebrities for them hahaha.

Since I'm not into soccer stuffs, I just didn't pay attention to them. I knew there were three foreign players there. Two are the black ones, while the other one is a spaniard or portugal-like person. Hmmm, I could say he is handsome. But none of my business.

This handsome player was sitting on the same row with me. Our eyes collided for several times. Ehm....though at first I thought that he's none of my business, i can't resist good view available beside me, right? hehehe. Nothing happened, I just enjoyed music from my ipod while reading a novel. But then he helped me taking out my heavy luggage *^_^*. That's it.

We got separated. I bought taxi ticket and waited for my baggage. Then I heard somebody called: "Cantik....". Again: "Cantik......".
I know I AM. But I didn't want to take any shameful risk hehehe. So I just kept quiet.
Then Someone touched my shoulder. "Cantik....?". I was stunned. HIM. The Handsome Player. He offered me a chocolate, and asked my name. "Your name is as beautiful as you"

Kyaaaaaaaaaaa I was so blushed and speechless. Everyone was watching, and the other players were clapping hands to support him. I couldn't bear the shame....I just walked away, looking for a trolley.

I got my baggage and went out. Just in front of the exit door, he was waiting, and smiling. "Bye bye cantik..."

I just smiled and rushed.

As I got into the taxi. I just realized. Damn! stupid me!! I didn't even ask for his name!!!!!!!
But......"Cantik.....?!" hehehehehehe I don't care what the taxi driver thought of me. I just couldn't stop smiling the whole journey.

"cantik...." (^_____________________^)

FAT (o^_^o)

This morning my mom cooked the famous Bubur Manado (manado porridge) as I requested. The super hot chilly sauce accompanied it made me can't stop eating. So i kept eating and eating till my mom warned me: HEY!! A GIRL SHOULD NOT EAT THAT MUCH!!! But I know she didn't mean it.....because for lunch she cooked Tinoransak (super hot pork in manado style). My favourite. Well guys....I did eat a LOT. In Surabaya you all already said that I have bigger stomach capacity than my small body should, so I guess you will be surprised on how bigger the capacity suddenly become here.

I'm just so happy to be able to eat my mom's cook again. I know I already gain a few kgs in these two days. Hehehehe.....sorry Hiro, I know you hate me being fat m(_ _)m.

I'm homeeeeeeee

I could feel my hear beat faster as the plane got closed to the land. I could see Manado city from above. Clearly. Really clearly. I can even point some famous buildings and streets easily.
Then my heart jumped when I saw my brother, Yosis, waiting for me outside the departure gate. He looks matured already. I wanted to tease him by giving him a hug, but he gave me the don’t-touch-me look. Hahaaha. Then I told him that I missed him, he blushed and smiled shyly. I know I have to treat him as a man, not a boy anymore; but I just can’t help it. He’s still my dearest little yosis.

My father was fixing his car when I arrived. He was so speechless when suddenly I popped up in front of him by saying: “Hello mister, how are you?”. He gave me twice kisses on my forehead. I knew he almost cried while he asked why I didn’t tell him that I’m coming. He looked older and thinner, with darker skin. I know life is not easy anymore for him, and wrinkles at his face showed how stressed he is struggling for his kids.

My mom didn’t see my coming. She was cooking, and then screamed wildly when she saw me grinning behind her. Yosis laughed out loud seeing her reaction. She was so happy to see me again, but a second later she shouted at Yosis and blamed him of keeping secret from her. Agnes, heard the noise from bathroom, went out only with big towel covering her body in surprised. She hated not to be the first person who knew about my coming.

How I missed my family. I’m so happy being at home again. I told my mom the list of food I want to eat during my short stay here, and to my surprise, I only got vegetable as my lunch because today is Good Friday (and Catholic don’t eat meat for respecting it…ouch!!). hahahaha. I completely forgot about this Good Friday and ate chicken at the plane!

Then we went to church together. I can’t remember when the last time we went to church together was. Perhaps when I was in Junior high. It’s nice to be at home, though at first felt bit surprised knowing how I almost forget the way they quarrelling. They do quarrelling quite a lot. Especially my brother and my father. They had completely different ideas in their minds. Phew…..I had to beg my brother to keep calm during my stay.

We had dinner together while chatting and laughing. I’m so happy. Everything is different now. Life changed, and I’m surprised to see the reality by my own eyes now. But they still tease each other and laugh together, (or then end up with quarrelling ahahaha). I enjoyed every conversation I had with them.

We have a white dog named “dogol” (Banjarese word, means stupid”), and a black 1.5 months puppy named “princess”; 3 fat rabbits; and around 30 white mice for my brother’s lab experiments!!! hahaahaha

So here I am….in front of my brother’s PC. If I take a deep breath, I can smell the familiar aroma from my childhood in this room. Hmmmm…….I’m homeeeeeeeeeeeee

Still....I do....

Today I lost a close friend. He's leaving to a very far place. It's so hard to say goodbye. Just a short sms for him. I'm not even sure whether we could still communicate or not. Hope your life will be happy, and your love life will be as what you expected.

Hmmmm, but today the lucky angel was really beside me. The documents needed was just ready on time, and I got the ticket 30 minutes before the consulate closed. Phiuh.......

And tomorrow I'm leaving to Manado. Felt nervous now....This would be a surprise visit to my family. Only my brother knows and he will be the one to pick me up at the airport. I'm waiting forward to see my mom and dad's faces seeing me in front of the house hehehehehe *excited*

Just now.....I got this heavy feeling inside my chest, made me lost my breath for few minutes. I do miss him.....

Uno Stacko

Suddenly our internet connection got trouble. Got stucked and had nothing to do; to avoid more bad mood arouse; Denny, Nyo and I played Uno Stacko.

We played three times. And Denny lost at all the games!!!! When he re-arranged the game, I decided not to continue. Too easy to win from Denny = not challenging at all heheehehe

So guys...

Denny the smart ass, Ragnarok Online Star, Winner at all online games: is a loser in UNO STACKO!!

Hahahahaha.......another evidence that actually you always win because you hack the games, Den! *wink*

I lost it?

Last night I couldn't sleep well. Something is disturbing my mind.

Oh how I hate myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So can be predicted that this whole day my face is like a devil. And a cup of coffee couldn't keep my eyes awake, so sorry to some friends for harsh words I said. I can understand if you guys said that I'm mentally disturbed *grin*.
Anyway I was trying to make fun of my day. Just to forget what was so disturbing last night. It's helping that I got good news for my plan next week, eventhough I had to postpone my manado trip for a day. Hopefully tomorrow I can manage to settle things. Hopefully tomorrow the lucky angel would stay by my side [praying mode: ON].

I realised that I lost one important thing last night: MY SELF-CONFIDENCE

Just a little story about sloppy imoet

This evening I got sms from my boss.

"Shierly, I can't send important fax. What's wrong with the number?"

I was not at CDU anymore, so I tried to find out. I called all the office numbers from the CDMA phone. No sound......So weird....I just bought the earphone. And a minute before it worked properly. Why?!

I got so irritated. Is it the signal again? or is there something wrong at my office building's phone line?

Unpatiently then I grabbed my handphone to send "angry" sms to my colleague. And then I found out...........The earphone sticked at my right ear is the ipod's earphone. not the phone's earphone!! Hahahahaa...stupid me.

Malang Trip

Last Saturday I went to Malang to attend Caroline's wedding with some friends. We stayed at a cheap but nice hotel in Batu, about 30-45 minutes drive from Malang. We divided the groups into two: the girls in Nyo's car, and the guys in Ardi's car.

The party was so greeny decorated. Caroline is a unique type person, so predicted already that she would come up with something unique on her wedding. She looked so happy and beautiful in her white wedding gown. Happy for her.......hope you'll be happy with your new life, friend!

It was a big party, but we sat at the back table.....so couldn't get zoomed picture of the couple


Caroline and Michael - the happy bride

Too bad that I got cold at that night. So after got massage from Nyo, I felt into deeeeep sleep while the other friends were having fun until dawn. Hmmmmm I missed the fun part!!!!!! But I felt much better the next day. Thanks to Nyo *wink*

Then Joan visited us at the hotel with her 3-months-old baby. Still beautiful as I could remember. The baby is so cute, really is like her father. And as described by Vei before.....she has interesting standing-hair!! I do believe she'll grow up into beautiful girl.


Me and Alicia - Joan's baby

We went to Malang afterwards. Ate the spicy bakso bakar, and continued to vei's house. Eating again there hehehe. Vei's mom cooked the kangkung pedas and ikan asin goreng. Our favourite!! As we got our stomach full, we went to Istana Dieng club house; playing bowling and go-kart.

It was really fun. Really really fun. I could forgot my boring routine at Surabaya. Especially because we have this pregnant spoilt DeeJay. Who is always "true" and want to be served by anybody at the first place. Wait until you got your baby delivered, young lady!! *HO HO HO*


Together - minus Iyan & Okta

Listening to: When you love someone

When you love someone - you’ll do anything
You’ll do all the crazy things that you can’t explain
You’ll shoot the moon - put out the sun
When you love someone

You’ll deny the truth - believe a lie
There’ll be times that you’ll believe you can really fly
But your lonely nights - have just begun
When you love someone

When you love someone - you’ll feel it deep inside
And nothin else can ever change your mind
When you want someone - when you need someone
When you love someone...

When you love someone - you’ll sacrifice
You’d give it everything you got and you won’t think twice
You’d risk it all - no matter what may come
When you love someone
You’ll shoot the moon - put out the sun
When you love someone


By accident I listened to this song this morning. Then it answered everything.........*sigh*
But.....
If someone loves you, he wouldn't do things that make you cry, right?
If someone loves you, he would respect you, right?
If someone loves you, he shouldn't lie to you, right?
If someone loves you, he won't think twice to make you happy, right?
If someone loves you, he'd never be enough of you, right?

Someone said he loves me.......I do believe at once. But......(_ _o)

Well, actually I just can't understand love. Why is it so hard to love someone? Why even when you love someone deeply still you can't resist temptation? Why love can close your logic and being so stupid? Why is there always pain in a relationship? Also...., why is it so easy to play with someone's love? How could people say "i love you" but also enjoying doing affairs? Even people can be so MEAN to someone they love.
Not being hyprocryte.....it happens to almost everybody. To me, and perhaps to almost all of you who read this blog.

Who to blame then? The blind cupid who shoots the arrows to the wrong hearts?

Quoting from a friend:
Person you love would be the one who hurt you MOST
But there would be always forgiveness for him/her. WOULD IT BE ALWAYS?

*sigh*

Stingy...oh...stingy....

It's so famous that Dutch people are very stingy. The term "go dutch" which means "paying by yourself" - when you're going out together with your friends- is the appraisal for the Dutch of being stingy.

When I visited the Netherlands, a Dutch colleague told me that even for a couple, each person have to pay their own meal if they go on a date; and would be better if the girl pays for the guy. Hmmmm I feel so lucky that I'm not a Dutch girl hehehe.

The Dutch university where I work has projects, in cooperation with Petra University, in which several Dutch students doing their internship, exchange or double degree. In my eyes, these Dutch students chose to come to Indonesia because this is such a nice cheap country. Where they can enjoy higher level life but cost them less than if they live in the Netherlands.

I know this one student. So handsome and outstanding. He rented a big house in Surabaya and pays a lot for that. I thought it's a usual thing, since he's a foreigner. But my colleague Tina was so surprised. Especially when she heard the explanation of this guy: "Well, I can enjoy better life: big house with several rooms; rather than what i have in Haarlem: tiny room with oh-so-tiny bathroom -at the same price".

I was wondering why Tina was so surprised, since his explanation DID make sense. Until today.....

There were 2 Dutch students came to Surabaya for one of our projects. They insisted to stay in the same room -the cheap one- so we thought that they were couple. In fact...they are not couple. They just stayed together at that small room with no AC (even my room is better and more expensive!!!) to be able to save money. In fact from Dutch government they get this quite big amount of money for their internship in Indonesia. I was surprised already.

Then we got an email. Several Dutch students will come again soon, so again they ask for the possibility to have CHEAP accomodation. I started to get used with their stingy habit....but this one student......he wrote this:

What about my accomodation? I think I want to stay at a very cheap accomodation. Could you please help me arrange it? I really want a CHEAP one...that's why I will bring a SLEEPING BAG from here..."

I was so speechless....

Oaaaaahhhmmmmmm

I woke up too early. 05:10. two hours before my alarm should ring. exhausted......

I know I'm imaginative. I used to make fun of it, laugh out loud with my own imagination. But not last night.....I have no idea whether it is my imagination or simply nightmare.

Exhausted...exhausted. But....Do I have enough courage to close my eyes tonight? What if those nightmares come again....? brrrr........

Ngantuk....Oaaaaahhhmmmmmm

Listening to: Phantom of the Opera

These days people in my office are so addicted to the OST of Phantom of the Opera. We have several versions of it downloaded, and put in the playlist. But how would you feel if you listen to it like more than 10 times a day?! The song is now kept moving around in my head!!!

But I like the song. It sounds so elegant for my ears, could let my blue feeling sway away. Though it becomes blue again as the song finished HAHAHA!

Today I started to re-arrange everything, right from the beginning again. Decision is the hardest thing to take, and I'm struggling for that. What a coinsidence that lots of things must be done at the office. Dealing with managerial things drives me crazy, especially that we have this one person so-hard-to-deal-with in the office. This is the first time I relieve to have him at the office. He could occupy my mind........with ANGER...hehehe.
The university in the Netherlands also drives my patience away. And communication by email is so hard, most of the time they don't take things as an important matter. And my boss will go to Sweden for a week -for holiday- AGAIN. Meanwhile we're in Surabaya needs someone there to have contact with. Gosh!

I wrote an email to my boss today asking permission for days off. I need to go for a while, really need to go..................

(_ _o)

Damn......It's not a dream!

itai..........

What a surprise I got today........

Reality sucks.....see? again it shot me right at my heart. But this time shot me, kicked me, stabbed me........have no idea how my heart looks like now. Maybe like a porridge? heart porridge, thick and red because of the blood soup.

Just after I tried to trust you. Just after I am trying so damn hard to believe the hope you offered me.

Why this happened to me....AGAIN....how could I handle it this time.....?

What Am I to you actually........? Did I ever have any place in your heart? To all that have happened, what am I to you?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! This is my HEART you're playing of, honey......

Help me...help me.............

Teach me how to dream

Imoet is my nickname, "dreamer" was my middle name. Daydreaming was my safe world, dreaming was my job, realising them was my purpose - kept me motivated, helped me being ambitious, taught me how to be strong.....

It was before I met you.

Now I lost it. I can't be myself. I did dreaming yet several times the reality shot me right on my chest. And even before it stopped bleeding, another realities punched and kicked it -again and again- till don't know when....perhaps till it forgets how to bleed.

How could I dare even to start a new dream.....? I don't even know how to.....

Teach me how to dream,
Help me make a wish......

After 9 years.....

After 9 years.....last night I met Vik, a senior in my high school, to whom I had a deep crush for four years.

Still cute as I could remember, his smile brought me back to my high school time. Yesterday was my first time going out only with him since the first time I fell to him. Felt like dreaming hahahaha.

There're lots of things undiscovered and unexplained between us, and last night we started to talk about it. After 9 years......

Nostalgia was what we did, we both laughed out loud as we re-call our memory. I blushed almost all the time knowing how terrible I was. So ashamed!!!! I just found out last night that he actually felt irritated and disturbed with my aggresiveness ecpressing my feeling during high school.

1. For 6 years I always sent him my personalized christmas card - vik hated it
2. I made up reasons several times to borrow his physics text book and wrote something in it when I returned it - vik hated it
3. I always called him every Sunday after watching Doraemon on TV - vik always tried to avoid me
4. I joined basketball training, because he also joined the training - vik awared, wanted to stop, but he also loves basket ball. So he was suffering.
5. The parking lot was nearby my classroom, so I always waited for him passing by - vik always wanted to run away
6. Sometimes I left love letter at his motorbike - vik threw it away after reading it (well, at least he read it!!)
7. I always went to toilet nearby Vik's classroom during session break - vik had to go to toilet after the bell rang to avoid me.
8. I told vik I liked to go to buy es kacang hijau at a small canteen near his classroom to attract his attention - vik said he never noticed me
9. I told vik that I liked to send a message for him at the famous radio station in our town. Almost all the people in my high school knew about it but...- vik: "what?!?! really?! nobody told me!!! but....thanks God I didn't like to listen to radion!!!"
10. Me: but you do realise that I was so in love with you at that time?"
Vik: YES!!! But I wasn't in love with you and suffering being in school because of you"

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA lucky him I already have someone I'm in love with at the moment!!

I didn't cry nor hated myself to know the fact. I enjoyed my high school time and the feeling was so precious, though later on I discovered vik was so miserable because of me hehehehe.

Vik said that it's a good thing, that nothing happened between us, otherwise now we couldn't be friends. He's true in this case ;-)


vik

So after 9 years......after last night talk, all things have been explained, and the special feeling towards him, had just gone in a second; replaced with an everlasting feeling: FRIENDSHIP.

HELP (@_@)!!!

Oh Man........
Why are you coming back again into my life?
Please please please stay away. You are the last person I want to have contact with, if you are still acting like this.
I may sound harsh....I DO, coz it's over my limit already. I can't stand you (_ _o).
Thank you so much, but please take back all your attentions which for me sounded like attracting my attention. I don't need it from you....I don't want it, not even any gifts from YOU. And STOP reminding me that you are sending it. AHA....I probably will send it back, you know....(@_@).

I do appreciate our memory. But I already put it at the bottom of my heart, and lock it in a small box there. Trying to remind me all the time won't do any help to our relationship.

So, I guess this is it. Hope you can understand.

(^_^)

So.....I'm 25 years old today.
Quite different from the previous years, this is my first "rupiahless" birthday (_ _!). Sorry guys, couldn't afford to treat you hehehehe. That's why now I am sitting in front of my computer at the office - spending the first day of my 25th years of living.

Anyway I'm happy today. Rupiahless doesn't mean that I didn't enjoy my day. I have best friends here, and it's always a nice thing to have their attentions.

Thanks for the phone calls, sms, emails, e-cards, gifts, cakes - most of all, thanks for the warm smiles and the fun that cheered me up this whole day.


morning party at CDU

With the boys @ excellogix

I AM getting older, but I DO stay "imoet" (^_^)

Dirty girl?

[2 months ago]
Office boy: going home, mbak?
Me: yes
Office boy: take care
Me: thanks
Office boy: eh, ur bike is so dirty
Me: hiks...still have no time for that
Office boy: hahaha

[2 weeks ago]
A friend: hey young lady, what a dirty bike!!!
Me: hmm yeah....no time to clean it. Anyway, it's rainy season. It will be dirty again once the rain comes.
A friend: why do you take a bath everyday?
Me: hey, if not - dirty!
A friend: if you know it will be dirty again, why wasting ur time cleaning it everyday?
Me: HAHAHAHA....shut up!! This weekend I''ll try to spend sometime to clean my bike.

[3 days ago - early morning when I came to the office]
Me: ha...? who took out my bike from the office room?
Colleague: Office boy did it early morning
Me: oh...nice of him hehehe

Me: Mas....thanks ya, for taking out my bike!
Office boy: no prob! ehm...u r still very busy, huh?
Me: hehehehe still dirty = still busy *shy*

[This morning I saw a bike park in front of the office building. Looks like mine.....but not sure]
Me: Who came so early to this building? there's a bike parked already. hahaha looks like mine
A friend: No laaah.....yours is so dirty. this one is clean
Me: WHAT?!?! did the office boy wash my bike?!?!?!?!!?

So ashamed!!! Seems like the office boy couldn't bear my dirty bike anymore........

Am I that terrible in this cleanliness matter?!

Oma in Memorial

Last Saturday, 5 February 2005, my grandma Emmy Taroreh passed away in her 81 years old age. Still can't believe it......I'm sorry Oma, so sorry. ..... even until you closed your eyes I couldn't manage to go home and see you (_ _o)

When I was in elementary school, my parents started their own business that they were too busy to take care of me. Sending me to Manado and let my grandparents raised me was what they did. So there I were, being taken care by oma and opa during my childhood.

Life value and custom; traditional habits, children songs, were taught to me by oma, instead of my parents. Still fresh in my mind, her soft voice singing to get me into sleeping; her small body rushed to welcome me everytime I arrived from school shouting; her small hands changing my cloth and tidying my long hair every morning before school. Her massage on my feet everytime I complaint of walking too much, her smile when we were talking about my dream being a doctor (which is not happened now!).
Oma who always wanted me singing while dancing in front of everybody, and even she asked me to do that last time I met her! (but I didn't do it since i thought that I 'm not a little girl anymore!!).
Oma always encouraged me to be number one. She was the one who said that I am small so I have to prove the world that actually am not small. Her words helped me building my self-confidence, and be what I am now.

Oma oma....you played a big role in my life, and I did nothing for you (T_T)!!!!!

81 years old of your life...I believe you did lots of big things. Not only to me, but to your husband, 7 children, 17 grandchildren, and 4 great grandchildren. We are all weeping of your leaving yet we believe you are already in peace now.

Hope you rest in peace, oma....

Eyes

"There's something in the way you look at me..."

It's part of song lyrics of Christian Baistuta that now keep running around my head. It's the fact, that I always fall to beautiful eyes. And "eyes" is the first thing amazed and force me into "love"!

From eyes you can see the real feeling, the real emotion, the real expression, THE REAL whatever...There the truth lies, and love can be felt best.

I love your eyes, with the beautiful long lashes (that I envy most). It always be a certain satisfaction to look into it; and for sure, "there's something in the way you look at me"....that drives me crazy of YOU.

[Lonely Mode: ON]

Loneliness is all I have now. Emptiness is what I see. 'Till when should I get trapped in this situation? I envy those who can see who then want to see, who can touch who they want to, who can laugh with whom they want to be, who can talk and share their feelings; and most of all who can be with the one they love best.

I feel like running, but seems you are so far away, couldn't be reached. Doh!! Can't even feel whether you turn your head behind to see me?

Call me sensitive, call me possesive. Am I wrong to have this feeling? Painful- if you want to know how it is!

Happy birthday, Bus!

Birthday surprise for Gbus

I have a colleague named Lisa, but she is more familiar with "GABUS". Looks ordinary, with her small body, glasses, and sometimes "blank" look. BUT definitely extraordinary once she opens her mouth, and say something!!

Words from her mouth always can lead everybody into laughter, and her naughty attitude invites people to kick her ass. She is just a perfect refreshment for anyone bored of editing works, especially when she starts to change the songs' lyrics as she likes. These are enough for everybody to do something nasty for her birthday surprise.

Last Friday my office had annual meeting at a nice villa with beautiful scenery at Trawas, about 1.5 hour from Surabaya. Saturday'd be Gabus' bday so we planned to give her suprise at midnight. At 00.00 Nyo woke everybody up to surprise "sleeping gabus". But apparently she heard the noise, woke up and went downstair. We just used to chance to grab her when she walked downstair with her sleepy eyes. The boys held her legs and hands tight and brought her outside, onto the small pond. Gabus screamed, and everybody laughed.

The comedy continued when Mariza tried to force gabus to finish her huge hard birthday bread. Because her stomach couldn't afford the big bread, the boys grabbed her again and put her into the ponds hahaaha, plus cold water on her head from Mariza. Poor gabus, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I forgot when was the last time I laughed that much.

Midnight hang out- Hugo's

After working the whole day -from 7.30 till 22.00- on Saturday, the midnight hang out with some friends at Hugo's was a perfect ending.

Mia, Lydia, Vitria and I left Majapahit hotel at 23.30 and met Arief at the parking lot. We ordered some drinks and looked for a perfect corner inside. The AC was working properly already (not like the last time I went there), but the sound system was pretty bad. But anyway, we started moving with the music beat. YAY!!!!

At first Arief was not in the mood. He hadn't got his drink yet after 45 minutes waiting. So he kept complaining to the waiters, but nobody paid attention. I knew he got really upset of being ignored, but I knew he was doing some bitchy things to get his drink hahahaha. It's good then that he started to smile and dance along with us.

I was so happy. Being together with some friends, drinking and dancing. Laughing our heart out, and sweating as the music getting hotter, tried to dance as sexy as I could. I could forget everything there -work, life, problems, tired-. Bit out of control, but I do need it ;-)

I found myself woke up at 3.00 pm the next day, still with strong smell of cigarette and alcohol. I took shower and slept again till 6.00 pm. Enjoying life was what I did (^________^)

[Angry Mode: ON]

DAMN!!!! I am soooo upset now!!!!
This evening I got a message from a friend at my yahoo messenger friendlist:

holy_v (1/27/2005 11:56:34 AM): beutifull greeting card 4u www.geocities.com/greeting_ck

She's my friend so I simply clicked the link. It brought me to Yahoo Mail homepage and asked me to sign in. Nothing passed in my mind so I simply put my important details there.....but then the next page said: "Your data have been submitted". FUCK!!!!!!

By the time then my Messenger got signed off, and when I tried to sign in again, the password has been changed. FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!!

Now can't get into my Yahoo Email as well. OMG....I'm sure that BASTARD will access my address book and do the same. OH MY GOD.......hope all my friends do not follow the url!!!!! (T_T).

I have lots of important emails there, lots of important details...HUAAAAA I WANT TO CRY NOW!!!!!!!!

Now I'm changing the password of my other email addresses. But DAMN.....How is it to change password of yahoo and hotmail japan?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!

Imoet is now panic

Hello again, Surabaya!

I'm back!!!!
The sun burnt my skin that I'm so damn dark now. Kind of disgusting-said my friends hiks hiks. Pretty imoet is now like a village girl (_ _!). Anyone has idea how to get back my fair skin?!?!

Back to real life. With all the works and stressing things waiting. I have to concentrate more. Something is disturbing my mind recently, urges me to be focused on what I really want yet confusion is the only thing I have. Huh!!!

[imoet is now listening to: Right here waiting by Richard Marx]

[Holiday mode: ON]

Well well well....
So today I'm leaving Surabaya 'till Friday the next week.
Gonna forget all things 'bout work ;-)

For you who have to work: Met kerja yaaaaaa hehehehhehe

*ngacirrr*

10 things to achieve in 2005

Welcome 2005....bye bye great 2004...

I had a great time gathering with some of my friends from university at new year's eve. We went to Ardi's house, having surprisingly SUCKS dinner, webcam chatting with Ella and Yun in Germany, watching the "scary" Deep Blue Sea, having "small" fireworks, playing cards and laughing our hearts out; and drinking 'till I got drunk enough to sleep. Really really was a fun...(though I terribly missed someone at that night). I forgot when was the last time I laughed that way. I missed the old crazy days hahaha!!

And now........here I am with my 10 new targets of the year (^_^):

1. First of all: doing great in both my jobs
2. Better time management
3. Nabung...nabung...nabung: at least 1/4 of my monthly salary
4. Attending my sister's graduation in March
5. Trip to South Korea or Thailand or Myanmar.....or....ALL?! hehehe
6. Disiplin les Jepang (yang udah terbengkalai abis)
7. Nemu cowok yang sayaaaaaang ama aku aja ;-)
8. Anger Management: biar gak mati darah tinggi
9. Go to Japan!
10. ML ama si seksi ken hirai wehehehehehehehe

What Is Your Best Sexual Skill?
Name:
Age:
Sex:	MaleFemale
Sexuality:	StraightGayBisexual
Flirting Skill Level - 78%
Kissing Skill Level - 87%
Cudding Skill Level - 55%
Sex Skill Level - 85%
Why They Love You	You taste good.
Why They Hate You	You are too sexy.
This quiz by lady_wintermoon - Taken 1251935 Times.

To all my friends.....

Dear all my friends from all over the world...

First of all I'd like to wish you all a warm Christmas and a promising new year. Wished the best is all you achieved throughout this year, and the better would come for the coming year.

As you may have known, on last Sunday morning , 26 December 2004, a monstrous and unimaginably giant disaster has struck mercilessly province of Aceh and Northern Sumatra, Indonesia . Tens of thousands people were picked up by death just after they woke up from a good sleep, and other tens of thousands must face the deep incurable pain loosing beloved ones. The number casualties in Aceh itself is predicted to reach 60.000.

The disaster really was too much beyond every sane person’s comprehension. What I can not understand is : What have these people done so wrong so that they had to be ended so indecently and inhumanly. One happy family on Sunday morning has ended up by being scattered tens of kilometers away from each other : body of the father was dragged by the water to the ocean. The body of the mother has lifted upward by the wave to the coconut three, 50 kilometers away from home. The body of the son is found squeezed under a heavy truck 25 kilometer away from the mother. The body of the daughter is found on the bank of the river 30 kilometers away from her brother. What kind of tears can represent this picture ?

The long lists of the victims alone are reported from big cities, including Banda Aceh, the capital of Aceh province. In Banda Aceh itself, around 7000 lives have been taken mercilessly. There are still thousands of people., mostly poor fishermen and farmers, living along the coastline facing directly to the center of tsunami, and still unreported. The survivors from villages, which have been wiped out massively by the tsunami, have fled by walking tens of kilometers on barefoot to Banda Aceh to search for help, but what they see in Banda Aceh is as painful and harrowing as their home villages.

These survivors are dreadfully starving, exhausted , shocked, traumatized, physically and mentally destructed. They need help to stay alive.

I don't know whether this is the right thing or not, but I want to try gathering charity from all of you, wherever you are now. I think from every little penny we could gather, we can at least give them more chance to face another day.

If you do want to help, you could transfer the donation to me. Any penny means a lot for them. I will wait until early next week, and then send the money to Aceh via Metro TV (Indonesian television station who is gathering charity now). Or buy the needed aids such as: Tents, Kitchen tools, medicine, baby foods, goods for women, clothes, and blankets; to be collected at HKY Catholic Church Surabaya - Indonesia (to be sent together to Aceh)

Please let me know if you are in, and for sure I will make a clear financial overview to be sent to all of you.

Let's do this little thing for the sake of human being.......Please support me to support them.

Christmas...

I woke up quite late this morning and saw my mobile phone. 22 new messages!!!! Surprisingly I wondered….who the hell sent me sms that much? What happened?? But…HO HO HO…..all are Christmas greetings!!! By the time I realized…it’s Christmas!!!!!

First time in my 24 years living, no visit to Church on Christmas. This year I feel so ashamed to go to church L I’m little imoet with tons of sins =(

I spent my morning in my imagination, my safe world; and flashed back the memories of my life through printed photographs I found in my cupboard. Sometimes I smiled remembering the spots I almost forget, but most of all I realized: I’ve been through so many things. People come and go in my life. Each one has different bite in my heart, but they are all important. I don’t regret what I’ve been doing in my life, even though for some people I’m not a good person.

Then it’s not a lonely Christmas anymore. I took my mobile and started replying sms and send all other friends the greeting, and called my family just to let them know that I miss them a lot.

I could reach my sister’s mobile. Apparently my whole family was gathering at my grandpa’s house. I do miss the time and the place. There Christmas is the most important event of the year. I talked to my mom, my dad, my naughty bro, oma, and opa, and sent my regards to everybody there. They were preparing lunch party at that time, and I could hear the noisy sound of the business there. My sister said that the uncles are chasing the dog to be killed hahahaha……

I miss Christmas at Manado, my hometown. I miss the party with pig, dog, bat and white mice as the main menu. I miss playing cards with my cousins while drinking until all of us got drunk. And most of all I miss the small church there where I once dedicated myself as a good Catholic…loooooong long time ago.

Ehm…..I think I’ll go to church this evening (^_^)

Merry Christmas ~~~~~

Merry Christmas, friends.......

[Lonely mode: ON]

Well well...
So here's Christmas coming...
First information I got was that we'll only have to work half day today, which is good and also not good for me. Good since everybody of course likes the idea of working half day. Not good that I have nowhere to go and nothing to do but going to my other office and make myself busy there.

I feel so damn lonely, and definitely this would be lonely christmas ever =((

(_ _!)

I have Linguistic Intelligence

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Toast to Ella

Congrats congrats to Ella....being proposed at the top of Eiffel?!!?!?!?!?!? *toast coca cola with pei*
Damnnnn it's the most romantic place in the world!!!! *envy*

Hmmm top of Eiffel in december? must be cold hahaha. It was already cold for me in Summer hiiiiiiiiii *mengigil bayanginnya*

Happy for you. really. We have to celebrate this next February!! Waiting forward to see you again.....

2004 in Review

-january-
Lost something important and started my big dissapointment. Meanwhile was very busy with HEF preparation and recruitment session. Big boss was in town.

-february-
My birthday. Dinner with my friends and Kazuki visited from Japan. Went to Bromo afterwards.
Busy with recruitment session. Got a nice birthday cake from Hanny ;-)

-march-
meeting deadlines, presentations and tests. Drown into my works

-april-
recruitment session. The busiest time ever!!!
Annerie went back to Holland (_ _!)

-may-
Hiro visited me. Took holiday for about a week to be spent with him. Tapi mbenceknooo........sempat pedot sangking sebelnya aku.

-june-
masuk rumah sakit. Enrollment and payment deadlines for my students. Busy with phone calls, overview, and arrangements.

-july-
Making a new project: Listening test for high school students. Starting visa applications for students. Dutch Embassy is so difficult to handle :( there's one beautiful lady with sharp tongue there (_ _!)

-august-
Stressed with works and my own visa application to India. Facing some farewells: Mia, Adnan, Vitria...(_ _!)
Went to Holland...mmm last official visit? Had a great time shopping at Kalverstraat with Nina; and can eat shoarma - my favourite food - again hehe.

-september-
Visited Yun, Mark and Brian at Heidelberg. So happy to meet the family again!!
Sorry to Ella since I didn't have enough time to visit her in Berlin ;-)
Hurray....I went to India as well!! after long exhausted journey I met Hiro at that country. Spent time at Delhi, Agra and Calcutta (for Japan vs India football match). Got exciting experience being in the middle of Japanese supporters.

-october-
Farewell with Nina. Spent almost every weekend with her: shopping, creambath, gossiping, and one exhausted clubbing.
Making some working arrangements. Really not in a good mood for working.

-november-
Introduced to a nice new friend by Yahoo. Went to Singapore and spent two nights with Hiro. Sabaaar....sabaaar.....bulan ini mbencekno puol pokoknya.

-december-
Bosses are in town. Busy with recruitment and working arrangement. But at last we came up with pretty nice solutions.
Made new arrangement with Hiro as well. Tapi tauk ah glappp....males mikir!
Tapi bulan ini aku terperangah ngeliat rumput ;-)
Hmmm.......and until today......have no idea how to spend Christmas and New Year. SUCKS!!!!

woman's destiny

Monthly period sucks!! drives me crazy every 27 days by giving me this cramp on my stomach, plus up and down emotion!!! ==> oooo that's why I'm so poetic lately
Last night I complained to Mark, that it's sooo unfair that we, WOMEN, have to suffer with this kind of pain every month. Plus later have to carry baby(ies) during 9 months pregnancy and experience the painful delivering.
And this is what he said as a defence:
Mark:
"Shierly, men are also suffring during those times!"
1. Woman is uneasy to handle during that time
2. no sex
3. no sex
4. want to have sex but can't

Wahahahahahaha Mark...Mark....
Don't u realise that it's another suffer for us?! We also want it badly but can't!! GRRRRRR

Rahasia hatiku

Rumput itu semakin hijau, menjulang tak tergapai
Berakar semakin kuat, mencengkeram hati
Menyilaukan di siang hari,
Meninggalkan bayang menggiurkan di malam hari.

Tangan kecilku mengawai,
Kaki kecilku mengejar,
Tapi lagi-lagi aku tersandung,
Dan masuk ke lubang yang dalam tapi nyaman,
Karena sang rumput kadang-kadang datang.

Kulihat tangan-tangan terulur,
Ada yang besar putih, juga yang kecil hitam.
Berusaha menarikku keluar kedunia nyata.
Tapi kupilih tinggal di lubang,
Tempat akar sang rumput tergapai
Dimana bisa kusirami dan kupupuki
Tempat imajinasi itu dapat terasa nyata.

*busyettt....sejak kapan gue jadi puitis gini?!?!*

Moral of the story:
Real world is the last thing I want to face right now!!!!

it could happen to anyone....

It was there and I was aware of it
I wanted to have it although I couldn't
I planted a seed without realising it
It grows with the passing of time
Without realising, the roots are strong now
And I am putting all my efforts to loosen it.....

Am I??.....and can I??

*felt by imoet now, and quoted from a friend (happened to her in July)*

Empty Christmas?

December.....
Christmas decorations can already be seen at every shopping malls I stepped in recently.
Christmas songs are everywhere on the radio, malls, even in my offices.
Christmas plannings are discussed, christmas gift huntings are started.
Happy faces are there welcoming the day.

But not for me anymore (_ _o)....

Years ago,
I used to have such happy feeling towards Christmas.
I used to decorate my place enthusiastically for Christmas.
I used to buy gifts and send cards to share Christmas.
I used to wait forward to go to the church to celebrate Christmas.
I used to think that it is to be spent either with family, boyfriend, or friends.

But not anymore (_ _o)....

It's just empty feeling left this year. Christmas would just be another same day in the year.
No intention to buy Christmas gifts or cards.
No intention to listen to Christmas songs.
Feel blank listening to my friends' planning for spending the day.
Even questioning myself if I should go to the church or not.

Am I losing my belief?
Or am I actually just get stucked lonely in this big city?
Will Christmas this year be as empty as my feeling now?

*imoet is jutek*

Andaikan

Today by accident I listened to a song titled "Andaikan" by Yana Yulio from my playlist suffle.
My mind was thrown to my high school time, when I couldn't tell my first love what I felt.
He sat right in front of me when Yana Yulio sang that song at my school concert, while I was hoping he could understand that Yana Yulio cried my heart out at that time.

But I did tell him my feeling, one year after I moved out from my city. When it was too late already for a relationship, tapi yang jelas dia punya tempat khusus dihatiku. Jauuuuuuh di lubuk hati, ditempat yang terkunci tapi masih sering kuintip :p

Kangen deh ama kamu, Vik ;-) hehehe

[Flirty mode: ON]

Rumput tetangga itu emang lebih hijau.
Punya tetangga emang bikin iri.
Apalagi kalo tinggi, lucu dan menggoda???

*yummy*

At this moment....

Now I feel so alive...
Got a phone call from far India
A perfect thing to end my day!

Hari ini....

Hari ini berbunga bunga...
Ada cowok cakep super tinggi dateng ke kantor. Fuuufuuufuuuuu (180 cm pekk!!)
Kenal di Yahoo, barusan hari ini ketemu in real.
Gak nyangka ck ck ck....aku sek seneng jelalatan!

Hari ini juga terheran-heran.....
First time in my life lihat Vebby marah besar.
Korbannya Jon yang malang. (sakno...kapok kon)
Sampek dipisuhi wahahahahahaha
Ehm...you did something to his PRIDE, vei!

Hari ini terkantuk-kantuk.....
Lagi PMS, gak bisa kontrol lapar.
Makan makan makaaan all the time
Nanti malam malah plan mo makan kwetiau siram (which is full of cholesterol)!

Hari ini juga tertawa-tawa....
Ngerjain Valens yang malang bareng Vebby
Hiburan ditengah kesibukan!

Udah ah....mo kerja. Terkantuk-kantuk lagi deh...

*imoet males kerja*

(^_^)

After thinking the whole night, really the whole night (I slept at about 5 o'clock in the morning last night); at last this morning I went to the office ready with argumentations, negotiations, and solutions in my mind.
So.....after long discussions....now I am sitting here, feel relieved with all the decision I made today.

*imoet is smiling*

terrible..

Terrible day
Terrible night
Terrible dinner
Terrible talks
Terrible discussions
Terrible chat
Terrible ME of being dependent (_ _o)
.
.
and also terrible weather (must go home in hard rain). SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a day!

Help me please........I'm tired. Mentally and Physically.

[Confuse mode: ON]

Here I am now...by the end of the road that I have to decide things for my future.
What to do? what to do? What to do? oh my God...
This afternoon my boss was mad at me (_ _o). Feel so bad about this. But what can I explain her? I don't even have the plan for myself......
Several possibilities come, but not yet from the one I'm expecting the most (_ _o)
Should I stay with this burden in my heart that I couldn't enjoy my life but for the sake of the money?
or should I commit to my other job -with much less money- but better flexibility?
Duh...most of all I'm waiting for the important arrangement which is not coming yet - or won't.............??
or should I continue my life without considering what I want the most?

*imoet is screaming inside*