Thursday, March 04, 2010

The life back in Japan

It's been a month here. I have been trying my best to fit in, but so far.....still difficult.
We live in company apartment complex, almost all my friends when we lived here 2 years ago are all over the world now. Only one left, thanks God she's still here.

Iki is good now. He can adapt to his new school already and told me yesterday that he loved it. He also goes to swimming school once a week (just started yesterday!), and he enjoyed it.
Which is good. Very good.

But not me.....yet.
I am stuck with houseworks. never ending one. I guess living in Indonesia spoilt me a little bit too much. I had a maid, a cook, and a gardener. I almost did nothing for the houseworks. I am still trying getting used to it, though. But it upset me me when papa-chan told me that houseworks is an easy job, and he couldn't understand why would I need almost the whole day only for that.
I wished he could see from my point of view, not his :(. I feel like not appreciated.

I couldn't make friends yet. I have Tomomi, but I don't want to bother her too much. She has many friends and lots of activities. She introduced me to some of her friends though, but we have communication problem that we couldn't be connected....yet? My japanese is really bad now! i can't believe it, that I can't even communicate.

Every afternoon after picking Iki up at school I have to wait for him playing together with other kids. There're also other mothers waiting but I couldn't get into their world. I feel that they are afraid to talk with me because I don't speak Japanese well. I always could see their irritating eyes, if I don't understand something and someone had to explain really slow to me. At the end, I was just standing there, being ignored. One woman is really nice, though. She knows some English words so she helps me a lot. I really appreciate it, but she can't help me all the time right? :D.
I feel like I'm an alien among those mothers. Some really like to look at me from top to toe. Sometimes I put on "extreme" clothing and enjoyed their shocked eyes hahahaha.

I don't understand why would it be different this time. Last time it was pretty easy for me to get new friends. But maybe because they were from various backgrounds, meanwhile that Iki is going to company school now, all the fathers work for the same company. I don't know....I dont know if it makes any difference.

I spent almost every night alone after Iki's sleeping. Hiro has to go drinking almost every night and he said that it's also work for him, that he can't possible say no. It started right away, left me no time to tell him how I feel or cope with the life here. When he is home he would be too tired because of the alcohol from the previous day, or busy with his hobby, with his gadgets. I feel like I don't have quality time talking with him for ages. I miss those times in Sorowako, when we spend midnights talking at the veranda.
This is a big culture shock for me. Before this he always spent more time at home until I got settled in. But this time I feel like I have to fight with the situation by myself. I feel really lonely.

Alright. I'd better sleep now. It would be another looooong day tomorrow. I hate to go to bed alone.

I know I will be fine. I need more time, but I hope wouldn't be too long.


Carla Ardian said...

aww poor shierly.

concerning the housework, ask hiro to do everything, literally everything in one day, and let's see if he still thinks the same.

concerning the lack of communication... i'm having it too with vincent lately. he works so hard on his baby project and a lot of times he would come home way past midnight. if he did come "early" (10 o'clock), he would continue working from home right after dinner. maybe it's just a fact that i'm not working anymore in the morning that i feel this.. but i feel you, shier, it's not nice at all. sometimes i miss our hard time when he just moved here and we had really limited cash every month. with more money coming in now, i think i have to trade my lover's soul for it. :( also like hiro, he has to go out with workmates and bosses to drink, and he does try to include me as much as he can, but it's just different. no wonder kenapa orang miskin lebih bahagia dari pada orang berduit. mereka ga stress mikirin the more responsibility coming in.

your communication problem is difficult. and you're right that it will be alright later. but for now you've got to deal with it maybe with more communication with the people back home who are willing and able to communicate with you? distance sucks, but internet makes everything shorter. setelah gw ama vincent, aku suka inget2 kamu dan admire your full dedication to your husband. bahkan aku aja ga mau diajak pindah ke prancis atau quebec sebelum aku bisa bahasanya, knowing that perhaps most japanese and french are similarly annoyingly arrogant and don't give a shit.

courage, ma cherie! contact me if you ever need a friend buat nyampah.

vini said...

welcome to japan sherly :)

my life here after 5 years: start my day at 6.30, get ready for work, prepare bfast, get the boy ready to go to daycare. leave home at 8. leave work at 6 with some sirik eyes watching me saying, how come she goes home so early. pick up keito at daycare, stop by grocery store, get home, fold clothes, cook, have dinner at 8, cleanup. luckily, my husband is home for dinner. he will help bather keito. and i end my day at 9 in bed. thats from monday to friday. my only interaction time with the "outside" world is lunch time, like right now. weekend, i will have atsushi do the housework, but of course sometimes i will help as well knowing that he also has a tough week.

dinner with friends maybe 3 times a year at most. but again, its just me, rathere unsocialized person.

but no worries, after you get your japanese back, which wont be too long i believe, you can start making new friends.

have hiro do a house chores once a week, then he knows. or maybe half day a week. he needs rest too. but he is right, drinking is also working. it maybe more tiring then the work itself.

anyways, i always want to quit my job. here is what i would do if i did: 9 am after taking keito to daycare, i will study (anything), 10 am will clean up, 11 am will watch my favorite drama, 12 will have lunch, 1 will iron, 2 will nap, 3 will go for grocery shopping, 4 will pick up keito and prepare dinner while playing with keito. in reality, does it work sherly? tell me what you do everyday.