Both my brother and sister are doctors now. My brother just got partial scholarship for master education as a thorax surgeon, meanwhile my sister will go to Papua to dedicate her knowledge there. I'm proud of them, and most of all, of my parents. After 1998 economic crisis, we lost almost everything. We're not a rich family. My father is a bemo driver now yet he works really really hard to complete his dream for his children. It was almost impossible. I told my father to stop his ambition. But when he told me that education was the only thing he could give to his children. If he stopped before they're graduated, he would feel that he failed. Failed as a father. I tried to understand and worked 12 hours everyday in Surabaya to support them.
Now they've graduated. Isn't it time for my father to relax now? I thought so, but then my brother told me about that partial scholarship. Well, eventhough "partial", he still needs A LOT of money. Let's say 7000 USD for the first payment with total tuition fee about USD 28,000. Impossible. For Indonesian it's a lot of money. Especially for not a rich family like mine. I told them it would be very difficult.
He's a doctor already. I think it's already a big modal to start earning his future. It's time for my father to take a rest. It's time for my brother to make his own life. If he wanted to study he could work first to collect the money. I talked to him, to my parents, even to my sister. To my surprise they also wanted him to continue his study. No matter how difficult it would be, they will try their best. Even my sister said she would support him as well from what she would earn in Papua. They just need to sell the land in Jakarta, and all the financial problem would be solved.
The thing is, it's not easy to sell a land. How long have they been trying to?! And at the end now they expect me to lend the money.....
I want them to see reality. I want my brother to earn his own life now, not just expecting for helps and miracles to come. So I decided to refuse. Besides Hiro has helped them a lot. I don't have any heart to ask that amount of money from him. He also works hard and wants to enjoy his life. My family problem is not his responsibility. I may sound like a cruel sister, but I believe its for my brother's own sake.
I thought it would stop him. Nope. He's going to go to Papua for a few with my sister to work. He wants to collect as much money as he could to be able to join the class in December. But he hasn't got any news from the hospital in Papua, so what he could do is waiting. Waiting for the news from the hospital and miracle that the land could be sold really fast. My mother will also go to Jakarta next week, to work at a relative's restaurant. Meanwhile my father stays in Manado, working days and nights. So does my sister. They work hard, save money, eat the cheapest food. To collect that impossible amount of money before December. While keep praying and hoping that someone would buy our land in Jakarta.
It breaks my heart.
I live a good life here and I eat the best food. Thinking of my family makes me sad.
Beforehand I planned to go home this summer. I miss them. Terribly. I want to show my little boy to them. But in this kind of situation, I look like a big sister who can spend thousands dollars to come to Manado but doesn't want to help her brother.
What should I do.............??? I can't let this matter out of my mind. I feel like my head is going to explode.