It was warm today so I brought Iki to the big park this morning. As usual there were no other children there at such time so Iki enjoyed playing by himself. It's like that he owned the whole park.
Then a woman came. Out of sudden she approached Iki and greeted him. Iki, who doesn't like stranger, went away. She kept following him so at last Iki's mood was ruined and just stood behind the slide quietly. I felt pity for him so I took him to the airplane model toy and let him play there by himself. She couldn't disturb him at such a small and high place :p
Then she talked to me. She understood English a little, and my Korean is not that bad anymore so we could communicate pretty well. She asked why Iki was so afraid of stranger. I told her that Iki is a shy and sensitive boy. She told me that Iki is a boy that he shouldn't act like that. And as a mother, it's definitely my fault. She said that it's because I didn't bring him out enough and stayed at home all the time instead.
I was like...WTF!! Everyday we go out. Everyday we play at the park and go shopping. Iki plays with some people he is familiar with, like our apartment security guard, yakult seller, supermarket staffs and cashier, and the postman. It's just that he needs some time to get used with new people.
Again she insisted that still a boy MUST not be as shy as Iki. I must join mothers club and Iki must go to nearby preschool so that he could interact with other children of his age.
Well, I met some mothers at the park regularly. But we have language barrier, and some just looked down on me once they know I'm Indonesian. So our occasional meetings never continued any further.
I also brought Iki to department store's playground, local children library, and to the parks. Lots of children there, but Iki still avoided them and prefer to play by himself. I couldn't force him to play if he doesn't want to. It would make him even scared of other people.
Still she didn't want to accept my explanation. At last, still pointing out that it's my fault, she said that it might be because I don't teach Korean to Iki. It made Iki unfamiliar with people speaking in Korean that he got scared of them.
She might be true in this case. Iki didn't have any problem with new people in Indonesia and Japan. Language matter could be the reason. But it's already hard enough for Iki to cope with 3 languages at a time so he got speaking delayed. In addition, how am I supposed to teach him Korean if I myself don't master it?!
And still she said that it's my fault. I didn't learn Korean well (@_@)
At the end she wanted to bring Iki to Korean preschool. So that Iki could socialize with other children and learn Korean language and culture.
Ha?!?! I mean, WHO THE HELL IS SHE?! blaming me over my son's character and wanting to take over my son's education??!!! I grumbled to Iki as we walked home.
Papa-chan was a shy boy as well. And until Junior high school I used to be a scared shy girl too. At the end both of us became one of the world's narcist people :p
But then....when I enjoyed my hot tub alone and thought about this matter, I started questioning myself....what if she's correct?! What if it's my fault.......?!
Tell me...Is it really my fault?!