During pregnancy, hormones plays a great role. Well yeah, trust me. It can make you very happy that you feel like flying in an air balloon passing through beautiful countryside area at one time, but at another time it can make you feel like drowning in an arctic ocean. Deep, cold, dark, unpredictable...
I got the last one now.
As my pregnancy getting older, I feel like I lost my self confidence. Let's say it used to be one important factor in my life. I believe you guys knew me as a little girl with high confidence, rite? Pity, am not right now.
My stomach is getting bigger, the skin is darkened and there're blue lines started being clearly seen. No waist left so I look like flat ironing board from behind. Not to mention my boobs. OK, big boops are probably sexy, but TOO big are scary!! especially if they're also darkened with brown spots and of course blue lines. As if my chest couldn't hold them anymore.
Next are my underarms. The skin there are also disgusting now. Blackened that i had to put my tank top shirts inside the suitcase when i was in Indonesia last week. The arms themselves are getting bigger, showing how much fat I gained in these past few months.
My thighs and legs. They're basically big, and now they're getting much much bigger; decorated with eschema. Arrgghhh!! I look like having acute skin disease.
And last, my fingers. They are swelling. I can't even wear my wedding ring now.
So I have 10 small and fat fingers that look like small fat carrots.
I am easy tired, can't walk a lot. My feet can't support my heavy body and become painful. So despite my ugly physical appearance, I also hate being a burden to people surrounding.
Can I rent Harry Potter's invisible cloak? or can I just become like Violet of Mr. Incredibles who can make herself invisible? Or simply like yahoo messenger, where I can exist yet invisible the whole day?
Am drowning in an Arctic ocean right now. Deep, cold, dark, unpredictable....
Help me. I want to get back my self confidence