Friday, November 11, 2005

Where's my confidence?!?!!?

During pregnancy, hormones plays a great role. Well yeah, trust me. It can make you very happy that you feel like flying in an air balloon passing through beautiful countryside area at one time, but at another time it can make you feel like drowning in an arctic ocean. Deep, cold, dark, unpredictable...

I got the last one now.

As my pregnancy getting older, I feel like I lost my self confidence. Let's say it used to be one important factor in my life. I believe you guys knew me as a little girl with high confidence, rite? Pity, am not right now.

My stomach is getting bigger, the skin is darkened and there're blue lines started being clearly seen. No waist left so I look like flat ironing board from behind. Not to mention my boobs. OK, big boops are probably sexy, but TOO big are scary!! especially if they're also darkened with brown spots and of course blue lines. As if my chest couldn't hold them anymore.

Next are my underarms. The skin there are also disgusting now. Blackened that i had to put my tank top shirts inside the suitcase when i was in Indonesia last week. The arms themselves are getting bigger, showing how much fat I gained in these past few months.

My thighs and legs. They're basically big, and now they're getting much much bigger; decorated with eschema. Arrgghhh!! I look like having acute skin disease.

And last, my fingers. They are swelling. I can't even wear my wedding ring now.
So I have 10 small and fat fingers that look like small fat carrots.

I am easy tired, can't walk a lot. My feet can't support my heavy body and become painful. So despite my ugly physical appearance, I also hate being a burden to people surrounding.

Can I rent Harry Potter's invisible cloak? or can I just become like Violet of Mr. Incredibles who can make herself invisible? Or simply like yahoo messenger, where I can exist yet invisible the whole day?

Am drowning in an Arctic ocean right now. Deep, cold, dark, unpredictable....

Help me. I want to get back my self confidence


Sheila said...

Oh come onnnn...I personally think you're one of the prettiest-looking pregnant woman ever alive. Well, that is not to top Jennifer Aniston, of course, but still... u look as cute as always, and all those blue lines or whatsoever u were describing, NONE OF US NOR THE WHOLE KOREA/JAPAN is going to be able to see them.
Your hubby and you might as well be the only persons knowing the big difference, and HE caused this to you, so he lost his right to complain, hahaha.

In brief, u look amazing and glowing, n I'd love to borrow those pregnancy pants of yours (I suppose they fit me better NOW than later when I'm pregnant). No need for the inconfidence, you never lost it, it's always there, you just can't seem to see it now:)

dolphinrider said...

Bukan sesuatu yang mengerikan kok untuk terkadang kehilangan kepercayaan diri. Kayaknya untuk dirimu itu hanya sesuatu yang lewat kok. Bukan bawaan. Mana ada most narcist woman nga PD.hehehehe canda. Nga usa terlalu dipikirin lah.You're just fine.

juz said...

posting newest fotomu donk mut...pengen tau..hehehe....