Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Damn Tantrums!

These days Iki has been throwing his tantrums for like the 8 hours out of 12 hours a day!! I am trying hard to keep my patience level to the highest right now. He wakes up at midnight every day and crying for like half an hour. I don't know what he wants, and I ended up sleeping on the floor in his room. I don't have good sleeping quality lately and my back is killing me now. I don't want to sleep there actually, I just can't help not to fall asleep after he screamed at 4 o'clock in the morning.

He is a nice boy outside the house, e.g during visits to his grandparents house or at his swimming school, but once we arrive home he would change into this little monster who cries very loud while shouting "NO NO NO". What I hate the most was when he took of all his clothes and continued crying nearby the big window, the coldest part in the living room.

Today he got a bit cold. He sneezed a lot and got a little runny nose. It ruined his mood the whole day. I tried, really really tried my best today not to blow up. Being angry doesn't solve the problem, he would just cry even louder. I just can't understand what he wanted and what was in his mind. This morning, for example, he had a very strange menu combination. Tempe and strawberry, must be eaten together in sandwich style. EUGH (>.<).

He didn't want to play by himself too, and I was not allowed to do any house chores. He hung on my leg and pulled me out of the kitchen. At last I took some of my kitchen utensils and asked him to separate the spoons, chopsticks and forks. It made him busy for like 15 minutes when I could wash the dishes and boiled some beans for his snack. But then he got bored with the game and spread all the spoons, forks and chopsticks all over the living room. When I told him to stop doing that, the tantrum started again (#_#).

And tonight he wanted to have dinner in darkness. He insisted to turn off all the lights! Of course we couldn't see well. He spilled his tea onto the chair and all over the floor, and spread his food on the table. Again after some words came out of my mouth, he started screaming again. I got terrible headache and had to take painkiller.

angry Iki

Finally it was time for brushing his teeth, the last thing to do before going to bed. But it took forever and he didn't want me to give final cleaning on his teeth. When I gave up and told him to sleep instead, he got angry again and wanted to finish his teeth brushing, WITHOUT opening his mouth to let me do my thing there. It was just too much, I lost my patience and burst into tears. I was so tired emotionally. Tired of listening to his cries, tired to control my patience, tired to control my mouth and my hands (of not doing something harmful), and tired of being with him ONLY for the whole day (Hiro had to come back home very late these days due to his job). Iki was surprised to see me crying. He finished his brushing thing quickly, went to bed and fell asleep in a minute while hugging me. Then I couldn't stop crying for another hour, but I felt better afterwards. And now I feel even better after rambling here :p. would he be tomorrow....?!


mamanya Rui said...

Idealnya kalo anak lagi tantrums, kitanya harus tenang, jangan terbawa emosi biar anak gak jadi panik dan ngamuknya menjadi jadi. Cumaaaa emang susaaaah banget untuk menjaga emosi kita tetep stabil. Apalagi kalo kita lagi capek lahir, batin. Aku aja suka gak betah, saben hari rasanya pengen jerit2 deh saingan ma anak. Jadi ibu kayaknya harus punya hati seluas samudra ya.

Imoet, gambare!!

Carla said...

wadoh, jadi tambah takut punya anak. tapi kalo nangis dan ngeblog make you feel better, do it everytime you need to do it, then, shier. we don't mind reading your rants. still less whines than what sheila normally does. huahahahahaha

NoorIntan said...

You poor thing! *big hugs*
I know exactly how frustrating that is.. I can only guess that he was bored. When he's outside he was entertained and meeting other people, he doesn't remember to throwing any tantrums there :p

Kalo boleh kasih saran ttg Iki bangun malem, don't stay in his room. Pas dia nangis kamu datengin Mut, tapi cuma cium say "it's okay, get back to sleep. mama & papa in the next room" and leave immediately. He will scream louder at first, you shall visit him again in 5 minutes, then 7 minutes, 10 minutes dan seterusnya. Evertime make the time between visit longer. I'm sure you already know this technique. Remember how bad Ameera sleeping was? That was her cure... It wasn't fixed overnight, it took me 5 days to do it with Ameera....

For his other attention-seeking behaviours I suggest you to (pretend to) ignore it. Aku pernah 'ngadu' sama nurse/midwive di childcentre masalah ini, katanya anak usia Ameera udah (harus) bisa ngertiin kalo papa/mamanya harus doing something. She said "It's a family, and she's part of it. She has to understand kalo sebagai ortu kita kadang punya urusan yang menyita waktu main mereka setiap hari."
Pernyataan si nurse ini yg bikin aku 'tega' nyuekin Ameera if I want to do something at home. Kalo dia nangis, taro di lantai sambil jelasin secara pendek kalo kita need to do something dan biarin dia nangis.

Aku kalo Ameera udah keterlaluan aku masukkin kamarnya dan ga boleh keluar sampe dia tenang. Biasanya sih dia ketiduran karena capek nangis. Kadang ga tega, tapi daripada aku teriak2 or worse tanganku yg main!

Anyway! Sorry it's a looong comment, you probably don't want to hear my ramblings about it. I know every child is different and the way every family dealing with tantrums are different, but I can't sleep tonight if I don't share this part of the joy of the motherhood with you again... :D

By the way, sama lho si Iki, Ameera lagi seneng buka seluruh bajunya trus keluyuran di rumah telanjang! :D

Vivi said...

apa mungkin karena baru pindah tempat baru Moet? sebelumnya probably he got excited with the idea of a new place, his own bedroom, new environment. We all do.

But after while, don't we always get a bit of homesick, a sense that we're like fish out of water, a bit of insecurity?

Mungkin karena dia gak bisa ungkapin semua, ya jadinya throwing tantrum deh...

what about a lot more hugs and kisses?

but he seems like a sweet boy, when you cried he gave you a hug and stop fussing ... that's so sweet...

anyway, iya, aku sendiri rasanya juga gak tahan kalo 24/7 sama anak terus....bukannya gak sayang lho ya...hahahaha....

imoet said...

mamanya rui,
aduh iya bener. kalo masih pagi gitu masih bisa dibikin stabil emosinya. tapi kalo udah sore........mana tahaaaaan
thanks mbak, kamu juga gambare! :p

wah tantrum ini cuma bagian awal tantangan jadi ibu, la. tambah gede pasti beda lagi tantangannya :p
thanks, girl! baca komenmu jadi bikin aku stronger :p. ngomel2 lagi? pastiii lah! (yes i know gak akan sepanjang sheila ngomel kok hihihi)

muachh!! this kind of sharing yang aku butuhkan sekarang. rasanya notok gak tau mau ngapain kalo iki lagi kumat.
masalah tidur malam, i'll try. cuma yah itu...kalo dia nangis terus Hiro yang kudu kerja dari pagi sampe larut malam jadinya terganggu :(. kalo diterapkan wiken aja kan percuma ya.....:((. maybe emang kudu omong2 ama hiro, apa dia mau berkorban at least seminggu buat ngajarin iki bobok sendiri?!?!

kadang juga kalo keterlaluan aku kurung iki di kamarnya juga. cuma yah itu.....banyakan nyerah karena gak tega :p. aduh, i wished i could have such a strong heart like you!!!

ameera juga lagi hobby bugil ya? :)). lah disana summer, tan. disini winterrrr :))

hmmm make sense juga sih. mungkin dia frustasi gak bisa njelasin sendiri jadinya bete marah2. i'll try to give him more hugs and kisses, tapi dalam jumlah wajar. sekarang dia agak sedikit kelewat manja sih.....:p
hhhh kalo besok malam hiro lembur lagi, temper tantrumku yang bakal meledak kali yeee :))

ya it was so sweet. that's why aku gak bisa stop nangis abis itu....apalagi waktu dia ngusap air mataku pake telunjuknya...
agak nyesel bikin dia kuatir, tapi yah....mama juga manusia hehehe

Vivi said...

hhh...aku denger, anak cowok itu lebih deket ke mamanya ya...(e.g: my dearest husband)

apa nanti Felicia lebih deket ke papanya yaaa???? Waaaaa....

The Diva said...

Carla!!! I don't whine THAT MUCH, do I???????

Anyway... this too, will pass, Mut. Don't worry. It's gonna be alright.... besides, he'll grow up soon so you'll have more problems to come.

He's such a sweet boy when he looks like that, even when he's angry he's still cute, hehehehe...

aku kalo anakku marah2 gitu tak apakno ya? Paling aku ya melok nangis kayak kamu... mama emang juga manusian :P

Anonymous said...

hm sheila...judging from you and your mum, kalo anak mu marah-marah kamu kayanya bakalan lebih mbledhag deh marahnya, jangan kasih tau A yi aku bilang ini lho ya....