Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Trash bin

I got the answer why Iki looked so frustrated and drove me crazy before we left Japan.

He's lonely!

He's such a lovely and happy boy here. He played a lot with his grandparents and gives no impression at all to them that he could be such a monster at home. And oh, he totally forgot me except during hungry and sleepy time. Left me feel lonely and bored at home hahaha. The weather was actually nice today, but I got this monthly guest. Made me decided to stay at home instead of going out with stomach pain and bad mood. I ended up cleaning up all the floors in this house. Can't believe I did it. It took 2.5 hours only for vacuuming the floors. I never spent such a long time, effort and ENERGY to clean a house. Not even our house in Korea :p

Hiro has nomikai again with his colleagues today so after Iki slept my parents in law had a talk with me. Actually they have brought this topic since few days ago. They think that now it's time to give Iki a brother or sister. Hiro gave them a blunt NO answer so whenever Hiro's not home they tried to made me change Hiro's mind. My mother in law even cried tonight to convince me how Iki would be lonely without a sibling.

I told them that I also wanted one more kid. But I also explained them that Hiro and I had talked about this and decided that it would be very difficult. Raising a kid in Japan is bloody expensive, and Iki's education is not our only consideration. We've been thinking about the next 20 years for Iki's life. We want him to experience lots of things: entering good school, eating good food, staying at good environment, travelling to many places, and lots of toys :p. Which are impossible if we have two kids.

My father in law understood and amazed that Hiro has been thinking that far for Iki's future, but not my mother in law *sigh*

If we provide Iki with good life and lots of attention, he won't feel lonely. It was the last sentence I said to my mother in law before saying good night. Which was not satisfied her :p

Hiro is busy and I won't be able to have a talk with him at least until day after tomorrow. But I feel much better now after writing this down here hahaha.

My blog is my trash bin? :p

8 comments:

benova said...

Yeach..satu aja pusing apalagi dua...bokapku minta 4!!!alamaaak. But we decided that we're going to have two.Not now!!
Why..? First,..tul kata ur mother in law kacian Iki ga ada teman (but mgkn after school dia mgkn bs dpt teman), 2nd: buat kepribadiannya sendiri, it's good to provide him all he wants, bahasane itu *apa apa smua terpenuhi*..but is it good for him? Apa ndak mengajarkan anak terbiasa unk hidup enak, tdk ada usaha sendiri?...(tiap anak mmg berbeda depend on how the parents educate their children). Third, nek anake wes gede cuman satu sepi udah main ama temen2e dewe. Trus menikah, klo anak laki biasane seng kluar dari kluargane, nek cewek skg biasane msh tinggal ama kluargane (kebnykan gituh).hehehehe.
Tapi ... jaman skg itu mmg apa2 mahal ya apalgi di Japan mak. I also want to provide Kiyo with good education (ex:international school).Kalow bisah begituh, edukasi no.1 pinter bahasa inggris gak kayak emaknya ini.hehehe. Bapaknya hrs kerja banting tulang hehehe.
Gmn jadi ya weekend..?

benova said...

Continued...
Papaku minta 4..aku bilang no!!!

Heh...rajin bgt kamu bersihin rumah mertua..PONDOK INDAH MERTUA hehe. Never I clean up my house up to 2.5hrs. After this, rumahku ya hehehe...Aku aja di rumah mertua ga pernah bersih2 hahahahahahahahhaha.Dasar dirasani yo ben.

benova said...

Continued...

Eh..gak coba masukin Iki sekolah..playgroup gituh? Ga tau klo di jepang namanya apa?
Aku ini pas jalan2 tuh ditawarin, bisa terima baby umur<1th jg. Masuk sekolahnya bisa 1mg 1x or 2x..terserah.
Skg aja di Indo, umur 1th udah sekolah...Tapi kalo Benny ga setuju msh kecil dimasukin sekolah, takutnya bisa bosan en ga mau sekolah lg....susyaah ya jadi ortu jaman sekarang.
Kalow dulu knp ortu jadul bisa pny anak smp lusinan???heran..

eh..sorry kebnykan comments...males bgt nulis blog sendiri hahaha

NoorIntan said...

yeah, i know... ameera is such an angel when we're at playgroup or visiting people who love entertaining a toddler. she loves the attention and the company...

yeah, i'd love to have another child but i don't know if we will be able to handle it physically, mentally and financially. lots to consider, and raising a child/children isn’t cheap. we shouldn't have to make decisions we don't like because other people (including family & relatives) think we should. they're not going to be there all the time to provide help and support...

"My blog is my trash bin?"
that's what blogs are for.... :p

Sheila said...

Hehehe, ketawa sendiri baca komen Nova (dia kok jadi ngeblog disini???)
Orangtua jaman jadul bisa punya anak lusinan? Jelas aja lha wong tuntutan jaman dulu ngga sebesar sekarang. Emak-ku (my grandma) 9 bersaudara (!!!) dan yg mentas kuliah plus jadi pengacara, sarjana hukum, dokter, dll cuma yg kecil2, itupun susah payah biaya sendiri, sedang anak2 yg tua (Emak-ku termasuk), gak perlu lulus SD, sekolah njahit aja cukup, under the consideration that a girl doesnt need too high education, hihihi.


I think that was also a dilemma when my parents did not want any other child due to financial, physical, and mental problem (Just like Intan said). Heck, if they had stuck to that decision, there would never be my brother and that would have been the greatest regret of my life (although he used to be a pain in the @$$ when he was a kid and I HATED the world when he was born, hahahaha)
We grew to be great friends and shared (almost) everything, even things we didnt share to our parents.


Thing is, there are people who are good to live on their own. Seriously. Growing up an only child is not a bad thing, and I believe I would have to disagree with Nova that such kids would be spoilt too much and become a selfish person.


There are also people who, like me, need some "rivalry" and competition in the family, in order to grow up normally. Hehehe. I used to be a total pain for my parents, could not / would not even eat "nasi" (always threw them up and demanded milk or very soft porridge even when I was in kindergarten!!) and was keeping my mom busy all my first four years, including wetting my pants (yes, until four years!) when my dad finally decided that I could use some "company" to make me stable and "balanced" and "less selfish", hehehee.

I belonged to the "difficult" group of children.

So again, it depends on the child's character. And it surely IS Hiro's and your decision, Mut. Kids nowadays are entitled to have all the best education and best things that our grandparents and old parents could not afford... so it's your call.

and don't worry about "losing" a child, and the myth that the more the merrier, and there is going to be at least one to stay at home and take care of their parents... you WILL lose all your children in the end, no matter how many there are, hihihi.

I am the only daughter in the family, heck I left home at the age of 22, even waaay before I planned to get married (supposedly leaving earlier), and I believe modern girls like Nova and the others ALSO leave their homes to pursue their own dreams once and for all.

So really, it doesnt make a difference in the end. My best friend Vivi has 2 other sisters, none of them (that makes 3 girls including Vivi) has lived with their parents after graduating highschool! So much for having three,four,five kids.

Enjoy growing your child now, and live your life to the fullest with your decision :-)

benova said...

Hahaha..actually I;m confused also..wekekek..many considerations..
Iya sih ga smua anak2 ntar pada tinggal ama ortu klo dah gede, tp di pikiranku sih masio tinggal jauh tp tetep deket dihati mreka pasti tetep butuh kita buat ngurus anak mreka nanti.Hah...ngomong apa aku yo..wes ngelantur.
Habise aku pny temen dia anak tunggal, kluarga kaya, dia mmg baik kok, gak selfish sih mnurutku, tp I don't like cara dia membelanjakan money...(loh koq gue sewot). Yach krn dia anak kecukupan sih, jd mau belanja apa aja rasanya blas blus..ga mikir heheehe....*Ini gua yg iri deh kayaknya hehehehe*
Wah...wes..nek urusan ini terserah ortu msg2 deh hahahahahahahaha.AKu jd nge blog disini..buat menuh2in comments ya

vivi said...

Is it so bad to think of only having one child? My dad was horrified when i told him that I was thinking of that, and my mum immediately knocked on the table three times.

Living in Indonesia with in laws and parents and nanny and maids to assist me, they don't think I have good enough reasons to only have one child.

But being the middle child myself, I know how horrible it feels when all the attention goes to the youngest and you only got left over from your older siblings.

Sheila said...

HUAHAHAHA I LOVE YOUR COMMENT, Vivi!!!

Hmmm being a middle child is that difficult huh? I guess you really don't have a choice when you live around nannies and maids and inlaws... hihihi...