Saturday, December 08, 2007

I hit Iki!!!

Yesterday I hit Iki for the first time (_ _;)

He was driving me nuts. I knew it's because he couldn't pass his BM. He felt uncomfortable but he simply kept he "trash". He was too afraid to push because he always got pain. He asked me to put him on his toilet seat for many times though, but once he felt that "it's really time to push", he got really panicked and jumped out of the toilet (>.<). He didn't want to play by himself, he didn't want to eat, he didn't want to go out, he didn't want to sleep. He was just being clingy the whole day. Meanwhile I also got my period yesterday, with very bad mood because of stomach pain and muscle pain all over my body. One thing leads to another, I couldn't remember the details, I hit Iki on his butt.We both were so shocked. He cried out loud for few minutes while I checked his butt, trembling. I could see my palm's mark on it. I hugged him and said sorry until he stopped crying. He looked at me in the eyes, bowed sorry, smiled and hugged me back. It made me feel even worse. What a terrible mother I am!!!!!!!!!!

I cried silently in the kitchen after he's asleep. I could still hear the loud SPANK in my head. No, I don't say a mother who spanks her baby is bad. It's just I promised myself that I wouldn't hit Iki. I had bad experiences during my childhood so we (Hiro and I) have decided not to hit Iki at all. But I did it yesterday. I'm a horrible mother!!!!!!!

Look how sweet he is....and how could I spank him?!?!?!

I emailed Hiro right away yesterday and last night we had a midnight talk after he got back home. He suggested me to go out of Korea for refreshing and offered a getaway weekend alone to Indonesia. Ehm...getaway WEEKEND?!
Let's say...I'll leave Korea on Saturday morning, arrive in Surabaya at night and have nasi bebek as dinner. Eat ayam penyet Bu Kris for breakfast, buy some traditional snacks, have kwetiau siram Apeng for lunch, eat Bakso pak Salam for second lunch, find tahu tek tek for tea time, and buy mie dok dok to be brought to the plane. Then I'll be back in the plane to Incheon on Sunday night.
Oh oh oh....what a getaway!!!!

I said thanks but I refused. Maybe next time :p

But I promised him not to hit my little boy anymore. Forever!


Pre-chan said...

waaa iki benar2 mngerti mamaa :(( *terharu*

mut, kapan mo dikirim titipannya? aku dah gak sabar pingin belanja bareng dia nii, hihihhhiiii.. btw, yg sabar ya mamachaan :)

The Diva said...

Duhhhh.. *big huuuggg*

Sometimes we lose our control, it's normal and it's human.
We learn from that experience.
So don't worry too much yaaa.

Waaaa a weekend getaway ke Indonesia???
DON'T YOU DARE doing it before I land my feet on Surabaya!!!!

Ayo ayo ayo, taktemenin, tapi tunggu abis natalannnn, biar ada aku disana,taktemenin berburu kuliner, hehehehe.
Wah kamu lak keburu pindahan ya?

Carla said...

I can relate. I also regretted (even until now) when I first yelled at Michelle and left her crying alone just for the sake of not spoiling her to do whatever she wants. It's always a dilemma and it's not easy to raise a child. *hug* Tabah, ya.

NoorIntan said...

I admire you and your consistency of not hit/spank your child. I have to admit I've lost my temper so many times and I've smacked my daughter more than just two-three times. I'm not proud of myself that I've smacked my daughter, but there are times that I've just lost it.

I felt bad, and I still do. But to my consolation I always remember this person in her book saying "As long as the child living in a loving environment, it's okay to lose it sometimes - just don't make smacking as your standard of raising your child. A child always knows if he/she is being loved". (Well, okay. Not exactly like that, but more or less)

Smacking doesn't make you a bad mother, Shirley, get that idea out of your head especially that you've done it ONCE in the whole 23 months of Iki's life.

It is hard sometimes to set up boundaries, we have to be careful that that the child doesn't turn into a spoiled brat but in a way we don't want to drive him/her away from us... *sigh*