Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Being punished yet feeling beautiful

Can't believe I have to go through this. Being punished to stay ON MY BED - except for toilet urges - for 5 days!!! This is the first day, and I feel like dying already. Being pregnant and being active are two contradictive things. I'd love being active pregnant woman yet my baby seems doesn't like the idea.

Hiro said that our baby is just being naughty. Hmmmm...maybe she's just dancing inside listening to HIP HOP music I love to listen to? hahaha. But today I didn't listen to any of those noisy music. Just lying on the air-bed in front of TV. Or the pain in my stomach today was her laughing badly while watching the-funniest-ever Donald Duck on Disney channel?!

I know I'm complaining a lot and fussy about lots of unnecessary things. Sometimes I feel thats it is sooo difficult carrying a baby. That my body could probably not be able to manage. That I couldn't do things I love as much as before. That I couldn't eat my favourite food and drinks but stick to the healthy eating habit rules. That I have to face lots of "Don't"s. That even I have to reduce my walking speed. That I have to drink those smelly milk. That made me wanting RAMBUTAN badly but can't have even one at this season. That forbids me satisfying myself using squating toilet (hehehe...u know what i mean here). That changes my world and habit upside down. That now I become more sensitive and emotional than ever. That makes me now sitting helplessly on my bed alone the whole day.

But...Those negative feelings were gone in a second I saw the USG monitor. Watching my baby's heart beat blinking. Watching how life already can be seen on the tiny little thing there. 37 mm long now.

Amongst those tiring complaints written beforehand.....it is indeed beautiful having something alive inside me (^__^)

No comments: