Thursday, March 27, 2008

what to do?

I told him not to tap the fish displays at the supermarket. He was angry and cried on the floor. I tried to talk to him but he didnt want to listen. I tried to hug him and brought him out of but he was really strong. You wont believe such a small kid could have such power.at last i put back all the shopping stuffs and used all the power i had to bring him out. its been 1.5 hours now and he is still crying. I couldnt do any groceries, couldnt go home for preparing his lunch. All the eyes are on us, some tried to talk to him but no result. I could only sit beside him, hoping he would calm down.I really want to cry now....

10 comments:

The Diva said...

Hug hug...

cant really say much here. No experience. But if I were you, I would have left the place and he should once and for all know that Mommy sometimes has the LAST WORD for some things. He'd cry, I bet, but he should follow you... I hope ;-)

yun said...

Yup.. I would do the same like Ella.
Mut kamu harus lebih "tega" ngehadapin Iki... krn dia dalan fase "ngetest", jadi kalo kamu "kalah" dia akan ngulang kayak gitu lagi :)
Jadi my opinion... sekali-sekali harus tunjukin kalo Mama is the Boss, Iki harus tau dimana batas2nya (ini dari pengalaman pribadi lho, plus liat di acara "Super Nanny") :D
Dicoba gak ada ruginya;) *BIG HUG*

Carla said...

ya, aku juga punya pendapat sama dg yg lain. aku tau kamu sayang dia, shier. tp sebagai orang tua kamu kudu konsisten. misal kamu bilang nggak jangan lakukan, kamu harus tetap berpendirian bhw itu ga boleh dilakukan dan harus tegas. kalo tiap kali dia nggondok, terus nangis sambil guling2 gitu trus kamu peluk, kapan dia belajar untuk tau bahwa dia ada saatnya untuk nurut sama mamanya? dia malah mungkin belajar untuk berpikir, OH mamaku akan kasih apa yg kumau kalo aku bertingkah seperti ini. untuk jangka panjangnya kan kamu yg susah lho.

michelle di rumah juga udah terlalu dimanja. dan berhubung dia udah pintar ngomong, dia jadi suka berkilah. semuanya nyalahin mamaku karena dia ga konsisten. misal dia nggak ngasih michelle sesuatu, trus michelle nangis, dia bujuk tu anak dg beliin es krim dll. a
nak itu kan otaknya bertumbuh terus lho. lama2 dia jadi mikir, hmm apa yg perlu kulakukan supaya dpt es krim ya?

get what i mean?

[sok tua. padahal aku ya belum punya anak. hahahaha]

oh btw, at the end of the day he wouldn't love you less just because you're not letting him to do one thing for his good sake.

lily said...

Alo Shir...

Last week, Coby was throwing tantrums in the middle of the crowds & screaming..It's so hard, especially when all eyes draw on us...Then I said to Coby 'I know you are upset cause you cant have a ride (*there other kid sat on the Thomas ride).. but he kept doing it... as much as it was so embarassing, and like you andI felt like to cry, I tried to keep calm...cause it's useless too to try to carry him, as Coby threw his back, so what I did, I let him kicking & screaming on the floor, then I said to him, 'mummy will sit there, when you finish, you can come here, and I give you hug'...
It's so hard to ignore him, especially with his screaming...
some mothers who passes me said 'hang in there'
But then, he come to me, still crying, and want to have a hug, tough he still crying.
But the point is to let coby know that it's unacceptable, no matter he kicked and screamed, he wont get things on his way..
Be strong, as much as we love our kid,we have to be tough enough too.

valens said...

Susah juga ya ndidik anak *mikir-mikir*, gak isa bayangin kalo anake setengah lusin kek mamiku trus bertingkah sama nggondok bareng... hueehh pasti pingsan...

valens said...

maap tambahan... lu diliatin banyak orang yo jek sempet2'e moto2 'ci??? *bingung*

benernya aku setuju ama pendapat diatas, kalo kondisi kek gitu tinggal ae (berharap dia nututi), tapi praktek'e mbuh aku tego opo gak :D

imoet said...

diva, yun, carla,
Thanks for the suggestions. Last time I tried to leave him tapi dia tambah menggila. aku-nya yang takut dia lari ke jalan raya soalnya lokasi dia ngamuk dipinggir jalan gede. laen kali kalo ngambek ditempat sepi pasti kutinggal!!


lily,
thanks for the sharing. feel pity for u too, tapi can't help jadi sedikit lega ada teman senasib. kalimat "kalo udah tenang nanti mama peluk" itu exactly aku bilang ke iki, tapi ya itu...setelah hampir 2 jam ngamuk gulung2 dan (kayaknya) lapar baru dia calm down trus minta peluk sambil masih nangis. aku kuatir iki terlalu dimanja, sama papa, opa n omanya. mau apaaaa aja mesti dikasih. bayangkan dia belanja mainan dalam sehari abis 100 usd. buatku itu keterlaluan. come on, anak itu masih umur 2 tahun!! kebiasaan ini kayaknya yang kebawa2 terus during weekdays. mau apa aja dia harus diturutin, makanya kalo udah mulai hari senin mesti perang sama aku disupermarket. now way for me giving him whatever he wants. he has to learn. and you are completely right, dia juga kudu belajar kalo dia gak akan mendapatkan apa yang dia mau dengan ngamuk2 gitu ditempat umum. minggu ini dia keterlaluan, dari senin-kamis ngamuk2 terus dijalan. sekarang aku kasih ultimatum ke papa and (later) grandparentsnya, no toys for 2 weeks as a punishment whether they agree or not. he is my son, and they have to follow my rule.

valens,
duh gak mbayangno nek nduwe anak setengah lusin ti. cobak tanyak mamimu duluw aktu anaknya kecil2 pernah ngamuk bareng ditempat umum gak? hmm tapi paling sekali digertak papimu mengkeret kabeh yo :p
sempet2 moto? lah yok opo aku mek duduk disampingnya nangis selama 2 jam. ya wes tak foto pake HP sekalian ngeblog. that way setidaknya kemarahanku sedikit tersalur. ya ke kalian2 semua pembaca setia omelanku hehehe

Anonymous said...

okay...my beloved husband said, and this is to quote him exactly when he heard/saw lil kids screaming, "Lek Felicia kaya gitu, kamu seng ngurus" hihihi...

So, what happened afterwards? Did you tell your parents in law about the 2 weeks punishment? how did they react?

I need to learn about these things!! My baby now, at 5.5months already good at choosing sapa yang mesti gendong. Kemarin itu ta gendong ga mau, nangis terus. digendong mamaku langsung bobok.

terus pas susternya pulang, ta gendong anteng, di gendong pembantuku isa ngomel-ngomel, padahal itu sudah merem lho, tapi ngomelnya jalan terus!!

Vivi

imoet said...

Vivi,
dulu Hiro ya bilang gitu sebelum punya anak. Tapi sekarang nek Iki rewel ya kuserahkan dia gak nolak hehehe. Tapi sayangnya Hiro cuma dirumah wiken, dan biasanya waktu itu Iki mesti anak baik. Lah wong mau apa ae dibeliin (>.<)

Ya kemaren pas opa omanya njemput sini aku warning jangan beliin apa2 buat Iki. padahal datang sini bawa firetruck mainan gede, yang langsung aku ambil trus sembunyiin meskipun muka si oma gak setuju :p/ tapi trus aku jelasin kelakuan Iki ya mereka benern gak beliin iki apa2. Cuma ya Iki gak diajak ketempat2 "bahaya" yg ada mainannya. Diajak maen ke taman doang :)).

NoorIntan said...

You know, I thought things were bad months ago but then Ameera discovered the power of tantrums and really gave me hard times lately when we are out at shopping mall or supermarket. She is getting heavy and strong now that I almost cannot just drag her away out of the scene. One thing I learnd is to ALWAYS have the stroller/pram (or shopping trolley if I do the grocery) because once it becomes too much I would sit and buckle her tightly in her pram (or put her into the shopping trolley), and I will continue what I was doing regardless her kicking or screaming.

And yes, ALL eyes are on me and the screaming toddler but I couldn't care less. I had to do what I had to do and there's no way she would make me back down with her tantrums. I AM the boss and I am showing her.

I'm agree with most of the comments, you will have to be firm and show Iki who's the boss. Do not let it linger for two hours, I think it's too long and to depressing for you too. I know he's stronger and you are so small, it can be a real physically challenging (aku yo kalah sama Ameera, makanya HARUS bawa stroller).

And I agree with you about Iki's father and grandparents to stop spoiling him, they will have to understand that YOU will have to deal with Iki most of the time and they're not making it easy for you... In the future it will spoil Iki too if he always gets what he wants.

Sorry for too long comment, thought I'd share my experiences with you... Good luck and big hugs!!